I Beat the Odds_ From Homelessness, to the Blind Side, and Beyond - Michael Oher [75]
IF ONE WEEK, chosen at random, can bring in this many letters, imagine the need out there. Imagine how many children are hurting and looking for help. Imagine how many wonderful families are stepping up to meet the needs of people like "E" and Molly and Jyi and others--and how many more are still needed.
While I may quibble with how I was depicted in the movie, I am truly grateful that my story has been such an inspiration. I hope it continues to inspire people to step up to help--to tutor, to coach, to become a foster parent. And I hope struggling kids are inspired to make choices that will empower them in life. My story is their story. Let's beat the odds together.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Breaking the Cycle
Whenever someone finds out who I am, the two questions I'm always asked are: 1) Is the movie true? and 2) Who did you look up to as a kid? I talked about the first question back in chapter 18, but the second one isn't as easy to answer. The truth is, I didn't really have any one person I could look up to when I was younger--but I did have someone I could look to for how not to live my life: my mother.
It is so important for young people to have role models. In neighborhoods like the one I grew up in, it can be hard to find people who behave responsibly, hold down a solid job, support their families, and generally live lives they can be proud of. I really can't explain to someone who hasn't lived in poverty what it's like to struggle to find some kind of hope. I lived in a house where I had nobody to look up to, nobody going to work every day. Everyone in my neighborhood just seemed focused on trying to survive. And as well-meaning as they might be, many people who are trying to solve the problems of poverty haven't actually lived it, making it hard for them to really understand the daily struggles.
That's why I'm trying to get my message out there. In my case, and in the case of countless kids like me, what we see is the irresponsible choices our parents have made. And when that's what you're around day in and day out, when that's your world, you start to think that's the only way to live. I will always love my mother, but I never want to be like her. I decided back when I was still in school that I was not going to have her life. That's the challenge I want to extend to every kid who might be reading this book: Make the decision today to commit yourself to something better. It's going to take work and it's going to be tough at times, but you've already taken the first step by thinking about wanting something different. Patterns of thinking are the toughest habits to break, and I want to applaud you on your courage and strength to go for something more.
That's my goal with this chapter: to lay out the best advice I can offer to all the other Michael Ohers out there. Especially in my early years, I didn't have anyone modeling the life I wanted. I had to learn a lot of these lessons the hard way. I'm not trying to lift myself as a perfect role model--my life hasn't been perfect. But I am committed to stand up as a mentor for kids who are right where I was ten years ago.
Now that I have some time in the pros under my belt and the story of my life has suddenly become wildly interesting to everyone, I want to share the things that helped me to survive. It is my hope that this chapter will get photocopied and laid on many kids' pillows at night by loving foster parents, or slipped into backpacks by caring teachers who recognize a kid who is trying to fight against the odds. I want to see this chapter in the hands of every foster child in America so they will know how to work to make their dreams become a reality.
Just because the statistics say we're likely to fail doesn't mean that it has to be true for us.
THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS you have to look out for. You have to keep an eye on your own conduct; you have to be careful