I Beat the Odds_ From Homelessness, to the Blind Side, and Beyond - Michael Oher [80]
It's wonderful to help out people in need, or to donate to charities or causes that you believe in. I think that is a great thing and I would encourage everyone to do that. But you also have to have limits; you have to know when enough is enough. There is not enough money in the world to give everyone what they want. What you need to be aware of is how you handle the tough job of saying no when people ask you and you can't meet the need or don't think it's where you want your money to go. Don't let anyone guilt you into thinking your success obligates you to them; that's one of the quickest ways to get sucked back into poverty.
Remember the story of the Little Red Hen? She grew the grain and harvested it and baked it into the bread and no one wanted to do any of that work along with her . . . but they all wanted a piece of the bread when she took it out of the oven. If you do the work to get yourself a job, to put yourself through school, to work hard for good grades, to go without in order to save money and make smart spending choices--whatever it is that you need to do to achieve your dream--don't let anyone else claim your success as their own. There may be people who cheer you on along the way, and you should be sure to acknowledge and thank them, but don't let anyone try to guilt you out of what you've earned.
IT'S ALSO IMPORTANT to really study how to behave properly in different situations. Like I said in chapter 13, you need to be aware of different ways of acting that are appropriate for different situations. It doesn't mean that you're putting on airs or not being true to yourself if you act differently in one type of situation than another; it means that you have the discernment to know what is acceptable for each occasion. The same is true with how you dress. Your clothes don't have to be expensive, they just have to be neat in appearance and fitting for where you are.
Think about it: If you want a job in an office, you can't walk into the interview in jeans and an untucked T-shirt, or a really short skirt and low-cut blouse, laughing loudly on your cell phone and using curse words--right? That isn't presenting yourself in the right kind of way for that situation.
If you want to be a part of the professional world, you have to know how to act, dress, talk, and carry yourself. Look around at the people in the field you want to pursue, and make notes about how they come off. How does a businessperson act? How does a lawyer dress? How does a teacher speak? Study their behavior and even ask questions. By figuring out what it takes to present yourself in a certain kind of way, you can take huge steps in going after the kind of life you want. That doesn't mean you have to stop being who you are; it just means that you understand the difference between casual situations and professional ones. Those are some of the personal choices that will help set you apart from the way of living you want to escape.
Because, in the end, it all comes down to your choices. There is an old expression that life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent what you make of it. It's true that we can't help the circumstances we're born into and some of us start out in a much tougher place than other people. But just because we started there doesn't mean we have to end there.
And there is just one more thing I want to encourage young people to think about. Don't ever allow yourself to feel trapped by your choices. Take a look at yourself. You are a unique person created for a specific purpose. Your gifts matter. Your story matters. Your dreams matter. You matter. The decisions you make this year, this month, this week, this day, this hour--they all matter, too. Each good choice you make is an investment in your future. You can get a better life. If you are willing to roll up your sleeves and work for it, then you certainly deserve it.
We are all in this together. I'm pledging