I, Claudius - Robert Graves [223]
Cassius said bitterly: "I wish I had died that day with Varus in the Teutoburger Forest."
She was taken again into Caligula's presence and Cassius reported that she had made no confession and not allowed a cry to escape her. Caesonia said to Caligula, "That was because she was in love with the man. Love conquers all. You might cut her to pieces but she would never betray him."
Caligula said: "And would you too be so gloriously brave on my account, Caesonia?"
"You know that I would," she said.
So Quintilia's betrothed was not tortured but given a free pardon, and Quintilia was awarded a dowry of eight thousand gold pieces from the estate of the Scout, who was executed for perjury. But Caligula heard that Cassius had wept during Quintilia's torture and jeered at him for an old cry-baby. "Cry-baby" was not the worst he found.
He pretended that Cassius was an effeminate old pathic, and was always making dirty jokes about him to the other Guards officers, who were obliged to laugh heartily at them. Cassius used to come to Caligula for the watchword every day at noon. It had always been "Rome" or "Augustus" or "Jove" or "Victory" or something of the sort; but now to annoy Cassius, Caligula would give him absurd words like "Stay-laces" or "Lots of Love" or "Curling irons" or "Kiss me. Sergeant," and Cassius had to take them back to his brother-officers and stand their chaff. He decided to kill Caligula.
Caligula was madder than ever. He came into my room one day and said without any introductory remark: "I shall have three Imperial cities, and Rome won't be one of them.
I shall have my city on the Alps, and I shall rebuild Rome at Antium because that's where I was bom and deserves the honour, and because it's on the sea, and then I shall have Alexandria in case the Germans capture the other two. Alexandria is a very cultivated place."
"Yes, God," I said humbly.
He then suddenly remembered that he had been called a bald-headed madame—his hair was certainly very thin on top now—and shouted out, "How dare you go about with a great ugly bush of hair in my presence? It's blasphemy."
He turned to his German guard, "Cut his head off!"
Once more I thought I was done for. But I had the presence of mind to say sharply to the Guard who was running at me with his sword, "What are you doing, idiot? The God didn't say 'head', he said 'hair'! Run off and fetch the shears at once!" Caligula was taken aback and perhaps really thought that he had said "hair". He allowed the German to fetch the shears. My crown was shorn clean. I asked permission to dedicate the clippings to his Deity and he graciously gave consent. So now he had everyone in the Palace shorn, except the Germans. When it came to Cassius' turn Caligula said, "Oh, what a pity! Those darling little ringlets that the Sergeant loves so much!"
That evening Cassius met Lesbia's husband. He had been Ganymede's best friend and from something that Caligula had said that morning was not likely to live much longer. He said, "Good evening Cassius Chasrea, my friend.
What's the watchword to-day?"
Cassius had never been called "my friend" before by Lesbia's husband and looked intently at him.
Lesbia's husband—his name was Marcus Vinicius—said again, "Cassius, we have much in common and when I call you 'friend', I mean it. What's the watchword?"
Cassius answered, "The watchword to-night is 'Little Ringlets'. But, my friend Marcus Vinicius, if I may indeed call you friend, give me the watchword 'Liberty' and my sword is at your service."
Vinicius embraced him. "We are not the only two who are ready to strike for Liberty. The Tiger is also with me."
'The Tiger"—his real name was Cornelius Sabinus—was another Guards colonel, who relieved Cassius whenever he went off duty.
The great Palatine Festival started the next day. This festival in honour of Augustus had been instituted by Livia at the beginning