I Just Want You to Know_ Letters to My Kids on Love, Faith, and Family - Kate Gosselin [11]
On your birthday, October 8, 2000, Daddy took me to the hospital five weeks before your due date, but I had spent a month on bed rest at home, and you were expected a little bit early anyway. Cara was born first, as you know, and you came six minutes later at 5:47 p.m. I remember that you had a short cord. You were closely connected to me! And your first cry was loud and low-pitched. I caught my first glimpse of you when you were being warmed and assessed—so beautiful and precious! You were a little smaller than Cara and more Asian in appearance, more like Daddy.
I was so excited to bring you and Cara home and to start caring for you. Everything in our green and white house—where your nursery was wall-to-wall pink and purple—was awaiting your arrival. I know you remember that house, Mady. We just talked about it together yesterday. It was a duplex home that we shared with Uncle Tom and Aunt Jen, who lived right next door. It had a tiny backyard where we played the following spring when you and Cara could sit alone. Daddy hung infant swings from the small back porch overhang. You spent many hours in those swings!
Those were very busy, but some of the best times. Life felt manageable and enjoyable to me then. I thoroughly enjoyed waking up every morning and planning your meals, schedule, and outfits.
As a baby, you were particular. Your Poppy called you “fickle.” And he was right. You made your requests known even before you had words to explain them.
One time, when you were eleven months old, I took just you to the grocery store. To keep you occupied while I was shopping, I handed you a small plastic cell phone toy that was hanging in the aisle between the cereal boxes. When you reached out to take it from me, you said, “Thanks.”
I said in total shock, “Mady, did you just say thanks?”
You said, “Mm hmm.”
I said louder and more surprised, “Mady, did you just answer me?”
And again you said, “Mm hmm.”
This blew me away and I am sure everyone shopping in that store knew it! That was my first conversation with you, Mady. You weren’t even a year old yet. You were clever from the beginning, and well spoken. You have grown and changed from that tiny particular baby into an intelligent and beautiful young lady.
Being the best mommy I can be for you has always been my goal. I have always wanted the best out of life for you. Our family has changed, and that has been difficult for all of us. I assure you that all of the decisions I have made as your mommy are best for you, although they may not always appear that way now. Someday when you are older, I hope that it will be clearer for you to see; and I will always be ready to talk to you about it. Please know that even though there has been a lot of change in our family, my love for you will never change.
I have been doing my best to support you and help you through our rough times, but I have also appreciated the support you have shown me. You stepped up and contributed: Giving out vitamins, loading the dishwasher, helping to stock the juice cabinet—just to name a few examples. These are all things I have greatly appreciated. I have really come to rely on you and Cara, and you both make me so proud.
I want you to work hard and always do your best in everything, Mady. I am committed to being by your side, teaching you the important principals in life—things like integrity, which is moral soundness, trustworthiness, goodness, and honesty. These qualities will carry you far in life if you will strive to embody them.
Honesty especially sticks out to me. You and I were just discussing this quality the other day when you chose to lie about the beach towel on the laundry room floor! My repetitive words to you and your brothers and sisters, “Always tell the truth,” are imperative. Develop a reputation of truth. Work hard through life and don’t let the easy path lure you. The difficult path is the most