I Love a Broad Margin to My Life - Maxine Hong Kingston [49]
Touch bell stick to bell, warming it,
breathe in, breathe out, then make one
sure stroke. The ring changes the air.
The ring rings through din. The din
stills. The ring makes silence all
around, all around. Explosions cease.
Bombardment ends. Combatants
stop to enjoy the sound of Buddha’s voice.
The ring gathers time into one moment
of peace. Which is torn by engine noise
from a light, white aircraft, like an insect,
a whitefly. A drone. A hunter-killer drone.
Yell at it, “Coward! Coward!” We are cowards,
killing without facing those we kill,
without giving our victims a chance at us.
Yell “Coward” up at the drone,
then turn toward the air base and yell
at it, “Coward! Coward! Coward! Coward!”
Your voice carries all the way to Virginia,
where the computer specialist is pressing the buttons.
He hears you, wakes up, stops warring.
HOME AGAIN
Thank you, Wittman. Now go
continue on the Silk Road all the way
to its other end, in Soglio, where Taña awaits you.
It’s Taña! My own dear wife.
Rush into each other’s arms. Home.
No rancor. No ambivalence.
“I saw you constantly. I saw you everywhere.”
True, blondes everywhere—Chinese
with yellow hair, natural and chemical—each
one startling—it’s Taña. My heart leapt.
My heart fell—it wasn’t you. “Welcome, Love.
Welcome back.” The red string holds.
Hand in hand, the dear forever married
walk through the piazza with the bell tower,
and into the snow-topped mountains, stand
for a time on the Soglio mesa, and breathe
the good air between sky and far-down
chestnut forests. Rilke, who walked here,
advised, Change your life. Then westward
home, where Mario, one and only son,
has met his one true love, Anh Lan.
Please, no arguing, live happily ever after.
A long time has passed since I began
the journey of this poem. Poetry, which makes
immortality and eternity, did not stop
time. In 4 years real time:
MY DEAD
John Mulligan
Grace Paley
Pat Haines
Aunt Wai Ying Chew Lam
John Gregory Dunne and Quintana Roo
Ralph Swentzell
Jade Snow Wong
Vera Fessler
Irene Takei Miura
Roger Long
Pham Tiến Duât
Roger Allsop
Carole Koda
Alyssa Merchant
John Griffin
Sandy Taylor
Ena Gibson
Stella Jue
Glenn Kawahara
Gene Frumkin
George Carlin
Guanfu Guo
Col. Kenneth En Yin Ching
Bob Winkley
Oakley Hall
Capitano
Marion Perkins
Kazuko Onodera
Laura Evelia Pérez-Arce Dávalos
Kristi Rudolph
Lawrence William Smith
Ardavan Daravan
Ian and Susan MacMillan
Michael Rossman
Auntie Nona Beamer
John Leonard
Eartha Kitt
Jim Houston
Mike Porcella
Ron Takaki
Eng Lay Dai Gwoo
Jerry Josephs
Naomi Gibson
Roy Colombe
Lucille Clifton
Dorothy Langley Hoge
Tom Pigford
Archie Spencer
Howard Zinn
Donovan Cummings
Henry Vallejo
Gloria Marie Bingesser Beckwith
Graham Nicholson
Charles Muscatine
Janet Adelman
Larry Feinberg
Jadin Wong
Ray Dracker
Jack Larson
Each one who dies, I want to go with you.
I feel your pull into death.
I want to join my dead.
I have broken the news that Fa Mook Lan
killed herself. Everyone who hears denies
that it happened. No. How? Why?
The woman soldier comes home from battle;
her child does not recognize his mother.
He cries at sight of her; he runs away from her.
Why not give up on life?
I found evidence, as scholars know evidence,
of how Fa Mook Lan died.
I was at a conference welcoming to Notre Dame
Bei Dao, the poet who wrote
a ritual for ending a thousand-year war.
The people kneel at an abandoned stone quarry,
and fly 50 paper hawks. In a footnote
of a paper entitled “A Poetic Lesson,”
I read that Fa Mook Lan killed
herself by hanging; she refused the emperor’s
order that she become one of his wives.
The source cited was the P.R.C.’s
National Tourism Administration.
1998. Her hanging
may be revisionist history;
governments have trouble acknowledging P.T.S.D.
Why not give up on life?
Why continue to live?
I make up reasons why live on:
1. Kill myself, and I set a bad example
to children and everyone who knows me.
2. I will die deliberately,