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gowpins (Yorkshire) the two hands full when held together

quobbled (Wiltshire) of a woman’s hands: shrivelled and wrinkled from being too long in the washtub

clumpst (1388) of hands stiff with cold (hence clumsy)

rope-hooky (UK nautical jargon late 19C) with fingers curled in (from years of handling ropes)

… right down to the detail of specific digits:

lik-pot (Middle English 1100–1500) the forefinger of the right hand

mercurial finger (Tudor–Stuart) the little finger (as in palmistry it was assigned to Mercury)

flesh-spades (Fielding: Tom Jones 1749) fingernails

gifts (UK slang b.1811) small white specks under the fingernails, said to portend gifts or presents

lirp (1548) to snap one’s fingers

fillip (1543) a jerk of the finger let go from the thumb

vig (Somerset) to rub a finger quickly and gently forwards and backwards

JOHN THOMAS

Further down are those parts often described as ‘private’, but subject also to any number of other euphemisms and nicknames:

twiddle-diddles (b.1811) testicles

melvin (US slang 1991) to grab by the testicles

be docked smack smooth (mid 18C) to have had one’s penis amputated

merkin (1617) counterfeit hair for women’s private parts

hinchinarfer (late 19C) a grumpy woman (i.e. ‘inch-and-a-halfer’ referring to the length of the disgruntled woman’s husband’s penis)

BUNS

The Ancient Greek-derived word callipygian (1646) has long been used to describe shapely buttocks, while in US slang badonkadonk indicates a bottom of exceptional quality and bounce. Unfortunately, rather more ubiquitous are displays of a less appealing kind:

working man’s smile (US slang) a builders’ bottom

LEGS ELEVEN

Below that, it’s good to have shapely stumps and elegant plates of meat, whatever the individual components look like:

prayerbones (1900s) the knees

baker’s knee (1784) a knee bent inwards (from carrying a heavy bread-basket on the right arm)

Sciapodous (1798) having feet large enough to be used as a sunshade to shelter the whole body

hallux (1831) a big toe

NOISES OFF

Cock-throppled (1617) describes one of those people whose Adam’s apple is largely developed; noop (1818) is Scottish dialect for the sharp point of the elbow; and both axilla (1616) and oxter (1597) are names for the armpit. But perhaps the oddest words of all are those describing the noises that bodies can make:

yask (Shropshire) the sound made by a violent effort to get rid of something in the throat

plapper (Banffshire) to make a soft noise with the lips

borborygmus (1719) the rumbling, gurgling, growling sounds made by the stomach

WORD JOURNEYS

handsome (1435) easy to handle; then (1577) convenient; then (Samuel Johnson 1755) beautiful, with dignity

fathom (Old English) the span of one’s outstretched arms

shampoo (18C from Hindi) to massage the limbs

complexion (from Latin) woven together; then (14C) the bodily constitution, the combination of the four humours

cold shoulder (from Medieval French) relating to a chateau guest who was served a cold shoulder of beef or mutton instead of hot meat, as a not-so gentle hint that he had overstayed his welcome

PRICK-ME-DAINTY

Clothes

Under greasie clothes,

are oft found rare virtues

(1666)

Even if you’re not, as the Australians say, as flash as a rat with a gold tooth, you can still make time to be well turned out:

prick-me-dainty (1529) one that is finicky about dress; a dandy (of either sex)

pavisand (Kipling: Simple Simon 1910) to flaunt opulent or expensive clothing or jewels in a peacock-like fashion

flamfew (1580) a gaudily dressed female, whose chief pleasure consists of dress

sashmaree (Yorkshire) an elderly female conspicuous for the quaintness of her finery

UNMENTIONABLES

Not that all clothes are inherently smart:

cover-slut (1639) a clean apron over a dirty dress

orphan collar (US b.1902) a collar unsuitable to the shirt with which it is worn

stilt (Lincolnshire) to pull down and re-knit the feet of worn stockings or socks if the legs are still good

coax (UK slang mid 18C) to hide a dirty