I Never Knew There Was a Word for It - Adam Jacot De Boinod [135]
During the Second World War all mail was opened and read by the offcial Censor. So acronyms of places written on the backs of envelopes were used to convey secret messages of love (and lust) between servicemen and their wives or girlfriends:
HOLLAND Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies
MEXICO CITY May Every Kiss I Can Offer Carry Itself To You
MALAYA My Ardent Lips Await Your Arrival
CHINA Come Home I Need Affection
NORWICH (K)nickers Off Ready When I Come Home
BURMA Be Undressed Ready My Angel
EGYPT Eager to Grab Your Pretty Tits
SIAM Sexual Intercourse At Midnight
ALL LOVED UP
Limerence (US Connecticut 1977) is the word for that initial exhilarating rush of falling in love, the state of ‘being in love’. During that time the besotted of either sex should be careful not to deff out, the American slang for women who immediately lose contact with their female friends after acquiring a steady boyfriend. And this is just one of the pitfalls of sudden love:
fribbler (1712) one who professes rapture for a woman, but dreads her consent
batmobiling (US slang) putting up protective emotional shields just as a relationship enters an intimate, vulnerable stage (with reference to the car’s retracting armour)
THEY FLEE FROM ME
Once things start to go wrong, the slide can be all too rapid …
to wear the willow (late 16C) to have been abandoned by one’s lover
… so do try and avoid being cynical …
sorbet sex (US slang popularized by Sex and the City) a casual sexual relationship undertaken in the period between two more serious relationships
pull a train (US slang 1965) sexual intercourse with a succession of partners (like a string of boxcars, they have to be coupled and uncoupled)
… or sentimental …
desiderium (Swift: letter to Pope 1715) a yearning for a thing one once had but has lost
anacampserote (1611) a herb that can bring back departed love
DROIT DE SEIGNEUR
Take heart from the fact that anything goes; and the history of love tells of some decidedly odd arrangements:
gugusse (early 1880s) an effeminate youth who frequents the private company of priests
panmixis (1889) a population in which random mating takes place
Shunamitism (b.1901) the practice of an old man sleeping with, but not necessarily having sex with, a young woman to preserve his youth (the rationale was that the heat of the young woman would transfer to the old man and revitalize him, based on the Biblical story of King David and Abishag)
HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND ME
Just beware the types for whom lovemaking has become habitual (or even professional):
mud-honey (Tennyson: Maud 1855) the dirty pleasures of men about town
cougar (Canadian slang 2005) an older woman on the prowl, preferably for a younger man
lovertine (1603) someone addicted to sex
play checkers (US gay jargon 1960s) to move from seat to seat in a cinema in search of a receptive sex partner
twopenny upright (UK slang 1958) the charge made by a prostitute for an act of sexual intercourse standing up out of doors
WORD JOURNEYS
boudoir (French 18C) a place to sulk or pout in
friend (Old English) a lover; then (12C) a relative or kinsman
buxom (12C) obedient, compliant; then (16C) plump and comely
harem (17C from Turkish via Arabic) forbidden to others; then sacred to the women and their apartments
WITTOLS AND
BEER BABIES
Marriage and family life
Marriage halves our griefs,
doubles our joys,
and quadruples our expenses
(1902–4)
However giddy and capricious at first, it’s certainly true that Love moves, inexorably, towards the recognized and the formalized:
wooer-bab (Burns: Halloween 1785) a garter tied below the knee of a young man as a sign that he was about to make an offer of marriage
subarrhation (Swinburne: Spousals 1686) a betrothal accomplished by the man’s showering presents on his incipient bride
acquaintance (Shropshire) a fiancé/e
maiden-rent (17C) a fee paid by every tenant in the Welsh manor of Builth at their marriage (given to the lord for his omitting the ancient custom of marcheta, whereby he spent