If the Buddha Got Stuck_ A Handbook for Change on a Spiritual Path - Charlotte Sophia Kasl [31]
Notice, by contrast, what transmits a sense of beauty and calm, either in your home or other people’s homes. How do you feel? What colors, types of furnishings, lighting, plants, and spacing of furniture feels right for you?
Keeping your life cluttered is often a smoke screen obscuring a fear of emptiness or loneliness and a sense of unworthiness. The tendency to acquire too much stuff can come from various sources. Sometimes its about compulsive shopping, even if it’s at the Goodwill. It can be about having a difficult time letting go of things. It can be about keeping our lives so messy we have no time, space, or energy to focus on the changes we need to make. Other times we collect stuff with the hope of feeling important, lovable, worthwhile, or secure.
Whatever the situation, ask yourself: “Is this the way I want my life? Does this stuff really make me happy, relaxed, content? Can I relax and feel rejuvenated here?” Having traveled in many countries, I have observed that people in the United States accumulate more stuff than people in most countries. His Holiness the Dalai Lama also observed that people in the United States, the land of power and “stuff,” are the unhappiest people in the world. The primary antidote to our attachment to stuff is finding true connections with others, feeling a sense of belonging, and being of service.
When we have less to take care of, worry about, or lock up, life is simpler. I’m reminded of the lyrics, “I’ve got plenty of nothing and nothing’s plenty for me,” that Porgy sings after falling in love with Bess in the opera Porgy and Bess. Imagine not worrying if someone steals the rug from your floor because you feel so much joy in your love, and in the beauty of the world. Imagine the freedom of having just enough, of not worrying if something gets broken or lost.
Now here’s the paradox. The idea of clearing out clutter is not to be confused with thoughts such as, “If I get rid of clutter, I’ll be more spiritual.” Some people with a sloppy house are warm and friendly, while some people are tense and controlling in a tidy house. It’s about being aware of what stimulates frustration and takes you away from the aliveness that you are. It’s about having a relaxing home base that gives respite so you can venture out in the world and contribute your very best. It’s about making time for whatever brings joy, beauty, and depth to your life—in other words, whatever helps you become unstuck.
EXERCISE:
Reducing Chaos, Making Life Easier
Meet your security needs. Make sure you have food, shelter, clothing, heat, water, and gas for the car so you can get to work. It’s difficult to relax when life is a constant succession of mostly preventable emergencies. So plan ahead and take care of the basics. I call this the “don’t be surprised” level.
Don’t be surprised if your check bounces when you didn’t make a deposit or you run out of grocery money because you spent it on three new videos.
Don’t be surprised when you get tense, sick, and irritable after working overtime for weeks at at time.
Don’t be surprised when friends drift away because you don’t return phone calls or initiate getting together.
Don’t be surprised when your child acts out when you haven’t played with him, taken him anywhere, held him, or shown pleasure in his company all weekend.
We’re getting unstuck when we say, “Well, I guess I had it coming. I didn’t take care of that, what do I expect!” We make a dramatic shift when we take responsibility for ourselves and get our lives, clutter, and chaos in order.
Schedule time to clear out excess possessions. It’s good to have a friend to help.
Create a place for items you use daily—keys, shoes, wallet, toys, appointment book, gloves, bills, purse, maps, dirty clothes, and notice how