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On the other hand, according to LeDoux, the signal that commands freeze can be rerouted to a part of the amygdala that commands, “Move to action.” This happens when you repeatedly take deliberate actions in the face of trauma and fear. As LeDoux says, “Even if you feel paralyzed with fear, make that move.” It’s like throwing a switch in the circuitry of the amygdala that relays messages to the parts of the brain to help it mobilize for action. Over time, as you respond to difficulties with active problem solving, you retrain the brain to automatically throw the switch to the part that says, “Take action.”

According to LeDoux, when the brain circuit switches from freeze to take action, it’s the brain’s way of moving on and letting go of trauma so you can get on with your life. If you are afraid of speaking up for yourself, you do it anyhow. If you are in a painful situation, you take action to change it or walk away. If you are uneasy about doing something good for yourself, you go ahead and do it. If you are grieving the loss of a loved one, you can have your sadness, and also take action to bring pleasure, connection, and joy back into your life. The brain will respond accordingly and help you get past the feelings of helplessness or despondency.

The science of switching the brain circuitry is analogous to fire as the energy that moves us to action. Fire moves upward, destroying, transforming, heating up our lives. Taking action in the present helps us step beyond the past, as we move beyond old conditioning of fear and helplessness and affirm our right to live, enjoy, and have the life we want. Even if there is a history of trauma, taking action can have a dramatic effect, contributing to a sense of mastery and power over your life.

EXERCISE:

Take Action

Make a list of actions you can take to help your life be more enjoyable.

Make a list of actions that will counteract the habitual responses that keep you stuck. Give yourself assignments—take one action at a time and follow through with it, discomfort, fear, and all.

42. Ground Yourself to Ease Your Fears

We can use the martial arts approach to grounding when we approach change that feels challenging or scary. Grounding is about feeling yourself solidly rooted on the ground, strong and relaxed, alert and quiet, flexible and centered. If you stay grounded as you head into the unknown, making change will not seem so daunting, whether it’s facing inner pain or taking on a challenging task.

I observed a remarkable example of grounding in a workshop: two people paired up; one was instructed to stand straight up and put their arm out and the other was to try to get them off center by pressing down on their arm, which they did easily. On a second try, the standing people were taught to flex their knees, drop their pelvis, imagine flexible roots from their feet going down into the ground, make some deep belly sounds—Ho!—then imagine their torso as powerful and strong, yet flexible, and their arms as extensions of the torso. Keeping that image, they were instructed to sway gently while staying grounded. When the partners again tried to pull them off center by pressing down on their arm, they were unable to do so.

You can also ground yourself with thoughts, especially if you draw them deeply into yourself, like energy into your whole body. For example, when you’re approaching a task or relationship:

I’d like this to go a certain way, but if it doesn’t I’ll still be all right.

Whatever happens means nothing about my “worth.”

I can always ask for help if I get stuck.

People say yes and people say no; you win some you lose some—that’s life.

Whatever happens is not headline news—it’s just a little moment in the great expanse of time.

I can choose to quit if something doesn’t feel right.

People often feel ungrounded as a result of the way they handle emotions: they either restrict their thoughts and feelings, which makes their bodies