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This is a testimony to the power of our early conditioning and how important it is for parents to help their children learn restraint and control. It doesn’t mean curtailing creativity; it means learning to think ahead and postpone gratification if it leads you to something better. If we didn’t get this training in childhood, we can start now.

I want to distinguish between doing something quickly and being impulsive. You may have been planning to make a major change and a way suddenly opens, so you immediately follow it. It may look impulsive to people who don’t know it’s part of your plan, but it’s really more about seizing the opportunity than being impulsive. Making a grounded but rapid decision reflects a stable interior world that allows you to make a big shift with reasonable certainty along with the confidence that you’ll be all right no matter what the outcome.

48. Eat, Exercise, Be Merry, and Get Enough Sleep: The Wonder Drugs for Feeling More at Ease

First perfect your instrument. Then just play.

—CHARLIE PARKER

In my interviews many people have commented on the energizing impact of exercise and healthy eating: “I can be dragging around after work, but if I go to the gym for an hour, I feel great afterward and have energy to do something in the evening.” Or “I am amazed over and over at how a brisk walk uphill in the morning lifts my mood and eases all my worries.” And “My moods are directly related to how I eat, combined with exercise. If I keep it simple—lots of veggies and a little protein—I feel great. If I start on the sugar and white flour my head gets hazy, and then I want chocolate or stimulants.” Our moods, perspective, and emotional states are directly related to the chemistry in the brain, which is greatly affected by exercise, restorative sleep, and healthy eating.

One caveat: from a Buddhist perspective, we don’t want to get attached to a given state or think that it’s morally better or worse to eat tofu and green beans than ice cream and fudge. Rather, we look at creating health in the body in relation to mindfulness and equanimity. A peaceful body helps us focus, concentrate, and bring a meditative mindset to whatever we are doing.

If we’re constantly stimulating our adrenaline and nervous systems with sugar, alcohol, drugs, nicotine, and caffeine, we feel jumpy inside because the body is intermittently going in and out of withdrawal. We feel restless and can become obsessed with seeking a fix to quell our physical discomfort.

Thus the commitment to exercise, eat well, and get enough sleep is not just about doing something or being good to yourself; it’s about a deep commitment to leading a mindful life—to creating the music of your existence. This is why the steps on the Buddha’s Eightfold Path always had the prefix “right,” as in right mindfulness, right concentration, and right effort.

Lama Surya Das, in Awakening the Buddha Within, explains the Dzogchen view of effort: “Dzogchen is beyond effort—not something to do, but a way of being.” Referring to Charlie Parker’s words, we want to practice our instrument well so we can just play. If we think of healthy eating, getting enough sleep, and exercising as a way of being, not just a task or a “should,” it becomes intertwined with the whole of our spiritual journey. We need to move from a “should” exercise attitude to mindfulness of how our physical habits affect our emotional and mental ability to be at ease.

Remember the high from falling in love—how the world looked beautiful, the sky a gorgeous blue, the breeze a tender caress, and you were immensely forgiving of people’s inadequacies? The same hormonal bath that created that sense of well-being also functions in relation to being rested, getting exercise, eating well, being passionate about what you are doing, appreciating beauty, and having loving connections in your life.

It’s incredibly hard for many people to believe that they have within them the power to affect their health and well-being dramatically by their own daily actions.