I'm Just Here for the Food_ Version 2.0 - Alton Brown [115]
Thermometers
Just about everything that happens in the kitchen concerns temperature, which is why you need five thermometers.
Keeping your refrigerator as close to 38° F is really, really important (see Cleanliness is Next to…). Unfortunately the temperature controls in most refrigerators rely on a scale calibrated not by degrees but by alphanumerics—which aren’t that useful for me since I have no idea how cold “B” is. A small alcohol-bulb-style thermometer will allow you to manage the chill in your chest. I prefer those that hang off the back of a shelf far better than stand up models, which are always getting knocked over or blocked.
To tell the temperature of your oven, a mercury thermometer works best—but oven versions are tough to find. Coil-style oven thermometers are the next best thing. I like this style for the oven because they’re fairly accurate at standard oven temperatures and are easy to read through even dingy door glass.
You’ll also want an instant-read thermometer. They come in analog form, but I say why tinker with mechanics when you can have digital. Besides the fact that they’re far more accurate and durable, the sensors are located at the tip of the stem. The mechanical sensors in analog models are usually a good inch up the stem, which can make shallow readings all but impossible. Be sure the version you buy has a stem long enough to reach the center of a large roast or loaf of bread. Unlike traditional meat thermometers, instant-read digitals are not meant to stay in the oven during cooking. For that you’ll need a probe thermometer.
THE POP-UP
One thermometer I’m not too fond of is often found lodged in the breast of turkeys. This simple gadget is supposed to let you know when your turkey is done—when the indicator stick pops up, it’s time to eat. But since it’s a binary thermometer, it has only two readings, done and not done. Inside the outer casing is a coiled spring held in place by an epoxy that’s made to melt at a specific temperature, about 180° F. When it reaches that point, the spring is released and up pops the stick indicator. By 180° your dark meat is done, sure, but your white meat is a crouton. So, if your turkey’s got one of these gizmos, just ignore it and use your probe thermometer. However, don’t pull it out prior to cooking or you’ll just leave a gaping hole for juices to escape through.
Probe thermometers are the best thing to happen to cooking in a few hundred years. They’re like instant-read thermometers with brains and long-range remote probes that can stay in the food throughout cooking. For mindless meat roasting, simply insert the probe into the deepest part of the meat and set the on-board alarm to go off when the target temperature’s reached. No opening and closing the oven door, grill lid, or smoker hatch. Make sure you buy a model with at least a three-foot probe wire and if possible, a range of 0 to 500° F.
Because mercury is a great conductor, mercury thermometers are amazingly fast and accurate and that’s a good thing to have when frying or making candy. Most frying/candy thermometers clip right onto the side of your pan and have the high temperature range necessary for these types of cooking. Look for one with a strong cage around the bulb and clear calibrations regarding candy stages (the “ball” system). Unlike most thermometers a well-cared-for mercury model will last forever. I have one that I inherited from my grandmother and it’s still dead-on.40
Salad Spinner
Moisture in your salad greens is good, but moisture on the greens is bad. Using centrifugal force,