I'm Just Here for the Food_ Version 2.0 - Alton Brown [122]
• Make sure your soap dispenser can be pumped without direct hand contact.
• You can get latex gloves at any drugstore. They’re great for handling raw meat or for cutting chile pods or garlic, which can leave some nasty compounds on your skin. When you’re done working, just throw them away. (Make sure you get the ones that contain talcum powder for easy on and off.)
TOXINS
Toxins are poisons that cannot be neutralized by heat (or sanitation practices, for that matter). Aside from the aforementioned botulinum toxin, there’s scrombrotoxin in fish and cheese, which causes scrombroid poisoning, a nasty, itchy, vomity kind of thing that usually isn’t fatal. Not so for tetrodotoxin, which one might encounter in even a small nibble of a badly prepared piece of fugu, or blowfish. I like the Centers for Disease Control description:
“Tetrodotoxin is heat-stable and blocks sodium conductance and neuronal transmission in skeletal muscles. Paresthesia begins 10 to 45 minutes after ingestion, usually as tingling of the tongue and inner surface of the mouth. Other common symptoms include vomiting, lightheadedness, dizziness, feelings of doom, and weakness. An ascending paralysis develops, and death can occur within 6 to 24 hours, secondary to respiratory muscle paralysis. Other manifestations include salivation, muscle twitching, diaphoresis, pleuritic chest pain, dysphagia, aphonia, and convulsions. Severe poisoning is indicated by hypotension, bradycardia, depressed corneal reflexes, and fixed dilated pupils. Diagnosis is based on clinical symptoms and a history of ingestion. Treatment is supportive, and there is no specific antitoxin.”
I especially like the “feelings of doom” part. Granted, you’re not likely to stumble across bad fugu completely unaware (although three California chefs nearly died in 1996 when a co-worker brought some prepackaged fugu back from Japan), but many common plants contain poisons. Apple seeds and peach pits contain a chemical of the cyanide family and can flat out kill you if you chew up and swallow enough. (Don’t worry: swallowing an apple seed or two won’t hurt you. A couple hundred maybe, but what are the chances of that happening?) Raw or undercooked fresh red kidney beans can deliver a dose of phyto-hemagglutinin to the system and reward you with 4 to 6 hours of extreme abdominal distress. Nutmeg contains a toxin that is also a powerful hallucinogen; it produces very bad headaches in those who try to take advantage of it.
Then there’s honey intoxication, which results from eating honey containing rhododendron nectar. Said nectar contains grayantoxin, which can play havoc with your central nervous system for a day or so (it’s rarely fatal, if that makes you feel any better). Then there are mushrooms. Think that’s a chanterelle in your yard? Be sure—very sure—because if you’re wrong, you may end up with your liver dissolved into a pool of goo, which I’m told doesn’t feel very good. Or maybe you’ll be lucky and latch onto some ’shrooms containing muscarine, in which case you’ll probably just sweat out several pounds of water in a few hours, throw up, and take a nap. Either way, never gather wild mushrooms unless you’re operating under the guidance of a skilled, educated, experienced, and preferably old mushroom hunter.
• Never wipe dirty hands on a kitchen towel—you might as well blow your nose on it. By the same token, never use a dirty towel to dry clean hands—you might as well blow your nose on them.
Speaking of your nose, sneezing and blowing are two of the best ways to introduce unwanted germs into your food. Coughing is good, too. And I hope I don’t have mention the bathroom, right?
Organically Challenged
It’s become clear in recent years that