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I'm Just Here for the Food_ Version 2.0 - Alton Brown [16]

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whole loins. If so, buy one that’s about 8 inches long and have it sliced into 4 steaks. Never, ever be afraid to ask a butcher or fishmongor to cut something special for you. That’s why he’s there.

Yield: 1 steak

Software:

2 tablespoons paprika

1 tablepoon plus 2 teaspoons

kosher salt

2 teaspoons onion powder

2 teaspoons garlic powder

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1½ teaspoons white pepper

1½ teaspoons black pepper

1 teaspoon dried thyme

1 teaspoon dried ginger

1 teaspoon ground cumin

Canola oil

1 tuna steak, 1-inch thick

Hardware:

Glass jar or other lidded container

Cast-iron skillet

Spray bottle for the oil

Pan-Seared Portobello Mushrooms

I tried several approaches before choosing this method of preparing mushrooms. This method produces a nice meaty texture and great mushroom flavor.

Application: Searing

Cut the mushrooms into ¼-inch slices without removing the gills. Heat a cast-iron pan over medium-high heat for about 3 minutes. Mist the mushrooms with oil and season with salt and pepper. Using a paper towel, spread about 1 teaspoon oil in the pan. Lay the slices of mushroom in the pan without overlapping, and sear, without moving them, for 5 minutes. Flip them over, cook for another 5 minutes, and serve. Some things are as simple as they seem.

Yield: 2 appetizer servings

Software:

2 portobello mushroom caps

Olive oil

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

Hardware:

Cast-iron pan or heavy sauté pan

Spray bottle for the oil

Paper towel

Tongs

Chick On a Stick (Chicken Satay)

Application: Sear

I realize that satay is usually grilled, but I’ve come to the conclusion that the dish is better when cooked on a solid metal surface.

Pound each chicken breast between two pieces of plastic wrap until they’re approximately ¼ inch thick. Cut each breast into 1-inch strips and set aside.

I find this is much easier to do it if the plastic is just barely wet, so I keep a spritz bottle on hand.

Whisk together the garlic, peanut butter, coconut milk, sesame oil, hoisin, lime juice, ginger, salt, and pepper in a small mixing bowl. Move ½ cup of the mix to a large zip top bag, add the chicken, and seal the bag, removing as much air as possible without actually sucking it out. Goosh it around in your fingers and revel in the fact that a layer of (mostly) impermeable plastic protects you from the potential bio-bomb of poultry inside. Refrigerate for 2 hours.

Software:

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts

6 cloves garlic, minced

½ cup peanut butter

½ cup coconut milk

2 tablespoons sesame oil

¼ cup hoisin sauce

2 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon

fresh lime juice

1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger

1 tablespoon Kosher salt

1½ teaspoon freshly ground

black pepper

Hardware:

Meat mallet or pounder

Plastic wrap

Cutting board

Chef’s knife

Plunger cup

Microplane or other fine grater

Whisk

Small mixing bowl

1-gallon sealable plastic bag

24 to 30 6-inch bamboo skewers

Cast iron griddle

Tongs

Cover the remaining sauce and hold at room temperature until your ready to serve (assuming, of course, that you’re going to serve this the same day).

Remove the chicken from the marinade and thread each piece onto a separate bamboo skewer. Needless to say, you should throw the marinade away immediately as it is now a potential bio-hazard.

Heat the griddle to 275° F. Place the satay onto griddle (do not crowd them) and cook for 1½ to 3 minutes per side, depending on the size of the piece of chicken. Serve immediately with the reserved sauce for dipping.

Yield: 4 servings

CHAPTER 2

Grilling

There are a great many things one can learn to do without actually doing them. Grilling is not one of them.

A View to a Grill

I am sitting here in a 28-foot Ambassador-class Airstream trailer. Constructed of shiny clean aluminum in 1978, its curvy interior, overhead storage, and pop-out tables epitomize modern design. I am typing on a Macintosh G4 Titanium Powerbook, which is roving through my MP3 collection like

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