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Draining rack

4 Popsicle sticks

Chip Chop

Application: Pan-Frying

Preheat the oven to 250° F. Put the chips in a zip-top freezer bag, seal, and roughly crush them. Don’t go for a uniform meal, just beat them up: you want a contrast of size and shape. Transfer the chips to a pie pan. Beat the egg together with 2 teaspoons water and place the mixture in a second pie pan. Place the chop in a third pie pan and dredge with seasoned flour. Shake off any excess flour and coat the chop in the egg mixture. Drain briefly, then transfer the chop to the chip pan. Press on the pieces so that the chop is completely coated. Place on a rack and let the chop rest for 20 to 30 minutes.

In the meantime, in a skillet, heat enough shortening to come halfway up the side of the chop to 350° F (it’s tough to take the temperature of such a small amount of oil, which is one reason I prefer to work in an electric skillet).

Cook the chop for 1 minute on each side, or until golden brown. Transfer to the rack and place the rack in the oven. Bake for 27 to 30 minutes or until the internal temperature hits 145° F.

Serve the chop with something else golden brown like mac and cheese and a side bowl of collard greens. Or, if you think your arteries are up to it, fried green tomatoes.

Yield: 1 serving, easily multiplied

Software:

1 (12-ounce) bag salt-and-vinegar

potato chips (such as Lay’s)

1 egg

2 teaspoons water

1 rib pork chop (1 to 1½-inch thick,

bone on), at room temperature

Shake of seasoned flour

Shortening or canola oil

Hardware:

Large zip-top freezer bag

Rack set over baking sheet

3 pie pans or round cake pans

10- to 12-inch cast-iron skillet or

electric skillet

Meat thermometer

This is trash cuisine at its best.

Calamari Crunch

Fried calamari may be the most popular restaurant appetizer in all of Christendom. I’m amazed that McSquid hasn’t started popping out of drive-thrus worldwide. And yet we never make it at home. I asked a calamari-crazed friend of mine recently why this was. He simply replied, “Man, that’s strictly restaurant food.”

That’s silly. Calamari is a great home dish for snacking or entertaining. What’s more, it plays well with others. Top a simple plate of spaghetti and tomato sauce with a handful of these golden rings and you’ve got…restaurant food. (By the way, feel free to replace the secret ingredient, Rice Krispies, with any brand of puffed rice cereal.)

Application: Immersion-Frying

Clean the calamari, removing the head and ink sac if necessary, and then the cartilage; rinse thoroughly. Cut the tubes of calamari into rings and make sure the beak has been removed from the tentacles. In a mixing bowl, combine the buttermilk and water, then place the small hand strainer inside the bowl. Add the calamari and toss to coat with the liquid.

Add only enough oil to fill the fryer half-full, then heat the oil to 350° F.

Meanwhile, in the plastic container combine the cornstarch, flour, cereal, salt, and pepper. Close the container and shake to combine.

When the oil is hot, use the strainer to lift the calamari from the liquid, let it drain, and then transfer to the dredge mixture, scattering the pieces so they do not clump. Reseal the container and shake until the calamari is evenly coated.

Using the spider and working over a plastic placemat, lift the calamari from the dredge, gently shake off any excess flour, and drop into the oil. Once the first burst of steam settles down, gently push down on the calamari with the spider to make sure that the rings don’t fuse together.

Work in batches to avoid overcrowding the oil. Folding the placemat like a funnel, return any excess flour mixture to the container and add more as needed.

Allow the calamari to cook until it is just golden in color and floats to the surface of the oil, about 30 to 45 seconds. Remove one ring, cool it briefly, and give it a taste. If the crust has crunch and the calamari feels soft, you can remove the entire batch to the draining rig with a sweep of the spider.