In Cold Blood - Truman Capote [89]
ocean fog now clouding the street lamps, closed round her. She had said she was afraid of Perry, and she was, but was it simply Perry she feared, or was it a configuration of which he was part - the terrible destinies that seemed promised the four children of Florence Buckskin and Tex John Smith? The eldest, the brother she loved, had shot himself; Fern had fallen out of a window, or jumped; and Perry was committed to violence, a criminal. So, in a sense, she was the only survivor; and what tormented her was the thought that in time she, too, would be overwhelmed: go mad, or contract an incurable illness, or in a fire lose all she valued - home, husband, children. Her husband was away on a business trip, and when she was alone, she never thought of having a drink. But tonight she fixed a strong one, then lay down on the living-room couch, a picture album propped against her knees. A photograph of her father dominated the first page - a studio portrait taken in 1922, the year of his marriage to the young Indian rodeo rider Miss Florence Buckskin. It was a photograph that invariably transfixed Mrs. Johnson. Because of it, she could understand why, when essentially they were so mismatched, her mother had married her father. The young man in the picture exuded virile allure. Everything - the cocky tilt of his ginger-haired head, the squint in his left eye (as though he were sighting a target), the tiny cowboy scarf knotted round his throat - was abundantly attractive. On the whole, Mrs. Johnson 's attitude toward her father was ambivalent, but one aspect of him she had always respected - his fortitude. She well knew how eccentric he seemed to others; he seemed so to her, for that matter. All the same, he was "a real man." He did things, did them easily. He could make a tree fall precisely where he wished. He could skin a bear, repair a watch, build a house, bake a cake, darn a sock, or catch a trout with a bent pin and a piece of string. Once he had survived a winter alone in the Alaskan wilderness. Alone: in Mrs. Johnson 's opinion, that was how such men should live. Wives, children, a timid life are not for them. She turned over some pages of childhood snapshots - pictures made in Utah and Nevada and Idaho and Oregon. The rodeo careers of "Tex & Flo" were finished, and the family, living in an old truck, roamed the country hunting work, a hard thing to find in 1933. "Tex John Smith Family picking berries in Oregon,1933" was the caption under a snapshot of four barefooted children wearing overalls and cranky, uniformly fatigued expressions. Berries or stale bread soaked in sweet condensed milk was often all they had to eat. Barbara Johnson remembered that once the family had lived for days on rotten bananas, and that, as a result, Perry had got colic; he had screamed all night, while Bobo, as Barbara was called, wept for fear he was dying. Bobo was three years older than Perry, and she adored him; he was her only toy, a doll she scrubbed and combed and kissed and sometimes spanked. Here was a picture of the two together bathing naked in a diamond-watered Colorado creek, the brother, a pot-bellied, sun-blackened cupid, clutching his sister 's hand and giggling, as though the tumbling stream contained ghostly tickling fingers. In another snapshot (Mrs. Johnson was unsure, but she thought probably it was taken at a remote Nevada ranch where the family was staying when a final battle between the parents, a terrifying contest in which horsewhips and scalding water and kerosene lamps were used as weapons, had brought the marriage to a stop), she and Perry are astride a pony, their heads are together, their cheeks touch; beyond them dry mountains burn. Later, when the children and their mother had gone to live in San Francisco, Bobo 's love for the little boy weakened until it went quite away. He wasn't her baby any more but a wild thing, a thief, a robber. His first recorded arrest was on October 27, 1936 - his eighth birthday. Ultimately, after several confinements in institutions and children's detention centers, he was returned