In Pursuit of the English - Doris Lessing [71]
‘Lucky the gas ran out.’
‘Lucky nothing. I only put sixpence in. Well, it made that old so-and-so my step sit up and take notice, didn’t it? But what I mean is, I was so in love, just like the films, I even committed suicide, well nearly, and now I’m in love with Dickie, so what’s the sense in anything, can you tell me that? And so now I’ve decided. I’m going out with that bloody policeman. Still, I suppose someone has to be a policeman. I’m not going to hold it against him.’ By now the wind was stirring black branches, and pale clouds streamed across a black sky; it was not at all the domestic little pond of the daytime with small boys and toy boats. Rose gave a fearful look back as we left it and said: ‘So now that’s all done. I’m finished crying, and you’re not catching me committing suicide again for any bloody man, and I’m going to be hardhearted and on the make, just like that silly bitch in that book with the picture on it, well, it’s not my fault if men like to be treated bad, now is it?’
Next evening she spent two hours dressing herself, and came into my room to show off. She was wearing a new grey suit she had bought from her boss’s wife, high black ankle-strap shoes, and heavy brass jewellery on her wrists and ears. ‘Look at my bosom,’ she said, ‘I’ve stuffed it all out with cotton wool. Dickie hates it when I do that, but this one’s not going to get near my bosom, so it doesn’t matter.’
She crept to the window and looked over. ‘There he is,’ she said. ‘Come and see.’ A very tall spindly youth with a sad frog’s face stared up at the house. ‘You mustn’t laugh,’ she said accusingly, stuffing a fist against her mouth and giggling. ‘I know he’s nothing to look at, but he’s sweet.’ She took another look and reeled back, laughing. ‘When I compare him with Dickie … but I mustn’t say that. At least, he’s a proper gentleman. That’s what I like. When I first met Dickie and Dan I decided to go for Dan – that was before Flo. But Dan messed me about, and Dickie kept his hands to himself, for the first evening, any rate. So I decided to like Dickie instead.’ She began whirling around on her toes singing: ‘Kiss me sweet, kiss me simple,’ and dropped laughing on to a chair.
‘He’s waiting,’ I said.
‘Let him wait. I told you, I’m not going to treat any of them right from now on. I’ll wait until 7.15. I said seven. He’s a fool, like they all are, so he’ll think the more of me.’ At a quarter past seven she went downstairs, adjusting her face to languid boredom.
As soon as she had gone, Flo darted up the stairs to ask: ‘Is he good-looking?’
‘But I didn’t see.’
‘He’d better be, or Dickie won’t be jealous. Rose came down to me and said if I was a friend I’d got to go up to the shop tomorrow morning and tell Dickie, all casual, that Rose had another man. She’s coming on, isn’t she?’
When Rose came in that night, she was thoughtful. ‘I’ve got used to Dickie, that’s what it is,’ she said. She handed me five cigarettes. ‘Might as well take what’s going. He gave me twenty cigarettes. When a man starts giving you things it’s time to watch out. Except with the Americans and Canadians, they’re in the habit of giving girls presents, it’s different with them. This one says he’ll take me to the Pally tomorrow, but I’m not so sure.’
After work next day she was singing. ‘Dickie was standing at his door tonight giving me dagger looks, so I suppose Flo did her stuff the way I said. He said: Have a good time last night, and I said: What’s it to you? Believe it or not, he’s started liking me again. Can you beat it? Lot of kids they are, they make me laugh, imagine me crying over a stupid like that.’
She put on her only dance dress, pink with frills and artificial flowers. It did not suit her at alt. She kept glancing