In the Buddha's Words - Bhikkhu Bodhi [36]
29. “Now when people saw me, some said: ‘The ascetic Gotama is black.’ Other people said: ‘The ascetic Gotama is not black; he is brown.’ Other people said: ‘The ascetic Gotama is neither black nor brown; he is golden-skinned.’ So much had the clear, bright color of my skin deteriorated through eating so little.
30. “I thought: ‘Whatever ascetics or brahmins in the past have experienced painful, racking, piercing feelings due to exertion, this is the utmost; there is none beyond this. And whatever ascetics and brahmins in the future will experience painful, racking, piercing feelings due to exertion, this is the utmost; there is none beyond this. And whatever ascetics and brahmins at present experience painful, racking, piercing feelings due to exertion, this is the utmost; there is none beyond this. But by this racking practice of austerities I have not attained any superhuman distinction in knowledge and vision worthy of the noble ones. Could there be another path to enlightenment?’
31. “I considered: ‘I recall that when my father the Sakyan was occupied, while I was sitting in the cool shade of a rose-apple tree, secluded from sensual pleasures, secluded from unwholesome states, I entered and dwelled in the first jhāna, which is accompanied by thought and examination, with rapture and happiness born of seclusion.18 Could this be the path to enlightenment?’ Then, following on that memory, came the realization: ‘This is indeed the path to enlightenment.’
32. “I thought: ‘Why am I afraid of that happiness that has nothing to do with sensual pleasures and unwholesome states?’ I thought: ‘I am not afraid of that happiness that has nothing to do with sensual pleasures and unwholesome states.’
33. “I considered: ‘It is not easy to attain that happiness with a body so excessively emaciated. Suppose I ate some solid food—some boiled rice and porridge.’ And I ate some solid food—some boiled rice and porridge. Now at that time five monks were waiting upon me, thinking: ‘If our ascetic Gotama achieves some higher state, he will inform us.’ But when I ate the boiled rice and porridge, the five monks were disgusted and left me, thinking: ‘The ascetic Gotama now lives luxuriously; he has given up his striving and reverted to luxury.’
34. “Now when I had eaten solid food and regained my strength, then secluded from sensual pleasures, secluded from unwholesome states, I entered and dwelled in the first jhāna, which is accompanied by thought and examination, with rapture and happiness born of seclusion. But such pleasant feeling that arose in me did not invade my mind and remain.19
35. “With the subsiding of thought and examination, I entered and dwelled in the second jhāna, which has internal confidence and unification of mind, is without thought and examination, and has rapture and happiness born of concentration. But such pleasant feeling that arose in me did not invade my mind and remain.
36. “With the fading away as well of rapture, I dwelled equanimous, and mindful and clearly comprehending, I experienced happiness with the body; I entered and dwelled in the third jhāna of which the noble ones declare: ‘He is equanimous, mindful, one who dwells happily.’ But such pleasant feeling that arose in me did not invade my mind and remain.
37. “With the abandoning of pleasure and pain, and with the previous passing away of joy and displeasure, I entered and dwelled in the fourth jhāna, which is neither painful nor pleasant and includes the purification of mindfulness by equanimity. But such pleasant feeling