Incubus Dreams - Laurell K. Hamilton [268]
“I’m not sure,” he said in a voice that was thicker than it should have been this early in.
“Doesn’t that scare you?” I asked, and my voice was breathy for a different reason now.
Richard frowned, just a little between those dark, dark brown eyes. Then he shook his head. “I’m not scared, in fact I feel calmer than I’ve felt in days.”
I looked past him to Jean-Claude, who had laid back against the mound of pillows so that the crimson of the sheets framed his black curls perfectly.
“Oh, stop being so damned picturesque. You’re messing with his mind.”
“Not really.”
“What does ‘not really’ mean?”
“I mean that I did not mean to do it. I am still adapting to this new power level, too, ma petite. I was worried for you earlier today. I was afraid what would happen with Nathaniel and Damian. I thought, I wish she was not so afraid of Nathaniel and what he wants from her. I swear to you that is all I thought, nothing more, but today I find that you have crossed several lines with him that you swore never to cross.”
“Are you saying you made me do it?”
“Non, ma petite. I am saying I wished you to be less afraid of what you wanted, and you were. I did not realize that it could possibly have had an effect upon you, until just moments ago, when I simply thought, I wish Richard was not so afraid of what he wants, and now he is not.”
“Did you hear all that, Richard? He’s using vamp powers on you.”
Richard gave me a lazy smile. “I feel calmer, less afraid, less conflicted. I hadn’t realized how bad I was still feeling until now.”
“Fine, I’m afraid enough for both of us, if you really did mess with me earlier today, then why am I about to walk out of this room?”
“I thought merely that I wished you would be less afraid of what you wanted from Nathaniel, and what Nathaniel wanted from you. I was not so specific with our Richard.”
“You wondered if it worked the first time, so you tried it again, and violà, you have your empirical evidence, because it worked twice.”
“Perhaps, or perhaps it is merely coincidence. It will take us weeks, or months, to decipher what is true power and what is simply all of us coming to terms with ourselves.”
I didn’t like the sound of that, at all. “I can’t do this.”
“Why ever not?” Jean-Claude asked.
“Because, once I would have given nearly anything to have you both like this. I need to know what this means.”
Richard sat up enough to prop himself on his elbows. “You said it yourself, Anita, you’re already dating Jean-Claude and Asher, and living with Micah and Nathaniel. You said that the thought of a man on either side of you ‘just flat does it’ for you. What’s one more pair?”
I glared at Jean-Claude. “Do you have like some metaphysical fist up his ass, like he’s some kind of ventriloquist dummy, because that doesn’t sound like him. That sounds like you.”
“Don’t talk to him, when you want to talk to me,” Richard said. He sat up, and the sleepy smile was gone. “Does it bother me that you’re with Micah and Nathaniel and Jean-Claude and Asher? Hell, yes. Does it bother you that I’m with Clair and half a dozen women in my pack?” He looked at me when he said it. I looked back. He finally said, “That was a question, Anita, can I have an answer?”
“Yeah, it bothered me to see Clair, and to meet your girlfriend for the first time, while I was nude. Yes, that was a special treat. I try to know as little about your personal life with the ladies of your pack as possible, so the rest, I didn’t know about.”
“I felt how much you wanted me earlier at your house, and you know how I felt about you. So let’s not pretend anymore about that.”
I hadn’t known we were pretending, but I didn’t say it out loud. “I don’t know what you mean by that, Richard.”
“It means we both want to be able to touch each other again. You fucked Byron for God’s sake. Why are you okay with doing him, and not about this—us?” He motioned as if taking in the whole bed. I didn’t think the “us” meant him and me. For