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When you thank the local lawyer, please tell her to send me a business card. I appreciate her helping me to help you help yourself.

Don’t accept a postdated check, and don’t agree to payment after you perform the services. You want to strike while the iron is hot.

Get your commitment instantly. It’s now or never. (His love won’t wait.)

Now let’s get back to that conversation with Oscar. You’ve handed him that one-page agreement (the more pages, the less marketability).

You said absolutely nothing while he read it, and now the Great Offeror speaks:

Oscar: You’ve thought of everything! Where did you get such initiative?

Where did you learn to write so well?

You: Just an instant inspiration, I guess. (Private joke)

Oscar: Why don’t you work on rewriting our employee handbook? That thing reads like the back of my Rolls mechanic’s bill! Here’s one. (Hands you the handbook.) See what I mean?

You: I’ll need to study it. Then I’ll do as much as possible in a week. May

I call you if I need more information?

Oscar: I’ll leave instructions with our HR department to get you whatever you need. How much are we going to pay you?

You: This isn’t a one-week project, and I’m only doing it so that you can see my capability. So you decide.

Oscar: Okay, Cleve. You talked me into it. You’ve got to be worth twice the amount my mechanic charged to fix the axle on our flex-stretch limo. There. I’ve written in the amount and signed the agreement. Are you going to sign it?

You: Okay. Oh, you forgot to fill in the dates.

Oscar (filling in the dates): You aren’t afraid of me, are you?

You (smiling with eye contact): Yes, I am. Show me the money.

Oscar: Go up to accounting on the second floor. Have Bertha call me.

We’ll issue a check.

You: Fine. I’ll make a copy of the agreement, sign it, and leave it with Bertha for your records. I’ll have to fill out a W-9 form for the IRS. How about a new-hire packet too? I want to see how good a job I should do.

Oscar (laughing): You’re going to cost me my reputation. They call me “Oscar the Grouch” when I’m not looking.

You: I can’t imagine why. They’ll probably call me “Cleve the Clown!” Oscar: We should make a great pair!

You: Seriously, I really appreciate this opportunity. You won’t be sorry.

Oscar: I didn’t build this empire by misjudging people. You’ve got spunk, and it’s a rare commodity these days.

You: Thank you. I won’t let you down. Shall we meet next week at this time?

Oscar: I’ll tell you what—I’ll leave your name with Teddy the Terminator at the front gate. Go straight to HR, and we’ll put you to work.

You: Now, that’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout!

Oscar: What did you say?

You: I was just saying, “How about that?”

Oscar: Have you ever ridden in a Rolls?

You: No, sir.

Oscar: Well, let’s take a test drive. Meet me down by the heliport when you’re finished with Bertha.

Be sure to fill out that IRS W-9 form before you start, get a check for payment in full up front, and remind Bertha to send you a 1099 form by January 31.

You did it!

There’s another way to do this deed without using the indemnification and independent contractor arrangement:

Call a local temp service and explain you’d just like them to payroll you for a week. If Worryworks is already a client, this is easy. They might even tell you who services it. If not, you can help them sign up this new account.

Temp service people are flexible, creative, caring individuals who work on razor-thin margins. They’re among the nicest people on the placement planet. So be grateful because payrolling one person for a week will never pay for itself.

You simply tell Oscar that Worryworks can pay the temp service the fee since you’re its employee. Then you sign up with the service as a W-2 employee, they pay you what they agreed, and you go to work.

I don’t recommend going the payrolling route because you don’t want a temp assignment. It’s too easy for Worryworks to simply keep you there on that basis.

Your instant power was