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Selecting the Right Personal References

With all the legal and business restrictions now limiting what a business can say about a former employee, personal references are far more important than before.

The interviewer receives an enthusiastic response that can’t be equaled by professional references.

Each of your personal references should:

Formally consent to give a reference about you, have a different surname (even if related), and work in an office where she can receive calls during regular business hours without distraction. Someone who can discuss you knowledgeably, intelligently, and enthusiastically.

Begin by listing 30 options as possible. Then cut the list down to the top five.

Where do you get a list of 30? Personal friends. Casual acquaintances. Then, add business advisers such as your attorney, accountant, or banker. Maybe you’ve recently purchased a house—your real estate agent is a natural.

How about community leaders, members of your service club, or buddies at the gym? Are there teachers at your kids’ school with whom you have a special rapport? Jot them down.

What characteristics do you need in each of your top five?

• A successful business or professional life

• A self-confident, outgoing personality

• Good verbal skills

Although personal references can be located anywhere, it helps if they’re in the community where you’re conducting your job search. You can leverage their favorable reputations.

In picking the top five from 30, choose those most likely to be receptive immediately, accessible, and properly positioned to help turn calls into instants. Personal references will be complimented that you think they’re so important. You know it!

Try a script similar to the following between Betty, a jobseeker, and Harry, an attorney who lives in her neighborhood:

Betty: Harry, this is Betty Bono.

Harry: Hi, Betty. I’ve been meaning to call and ask you what you’re using on your roses this year. They look great.

Betty: Why, thank you! I’ll have to refer that question to the family gardener. Frank takes care of the yard.

Harry: I’d really like to know. I haven’t had any luck with mine. What can I do for you?

Betty: Well, I just passed the CPA exam, and I want to make a career move now. It was convenient to work in town while the kids were young. But now I’m ready for a larger organization. I thought I’d target the insurance industry.

Harry: Sounds good. Congratulations on your certification. That was a lot of work. I wish I knew someone to recommend. I’m afraid I can’t be much help.

Betty: Harry, you can be a big help. I’d like to use your name as a personal reference. We worked closely together on last year’s school budget campaign. I was impressed by your energy, your effectiveness, and your ability to communicate. I trust your observations of me were equally good and that you wouldn’t mind saying so to a prospective employer.

Harry: I’m honored to be asked! I couldn’t have done all I did without your assistance with the numbers to support our arguments. Talk about analytical skill! The Board of Ed. is still talking about your accuracy!

Reassuring Reluctant Personal References

There may be some personal reference who says:

I’ve never given a reference before.

I’m not sure how to go about it.

I’m afraid I’ll say something wrong.

To overcome these objections, reassure them that you’re going to provide them with a sample application, your resume, and a list of questions typically asked. Tell them you’ll go over the key points that you want them to cover, and if they’ll just review the materials and answer naturally, it will all be fine.

Express the importance of their help and how much you appreciate it. If they still seem hesitant, thank them and allow them to decline gracefully. You want references with genuine enthusiasm. The last thing you need is for your future employer to sense that someone is doing this only as a favor to you.

Preparing Personal References

Your personal references