Invisible man - Ralph Ellison [82]
"No, sir, I don't. It looked the same to me. I didn't know what I was using and you didn't tell me. I was trying to save time and took what I thought was right."
"But why this one?"
"Because it smelled the same --" I began.
"Smelted!" he roared. "Goddamit, don't you know you can't smell shit around all those fumes? Come on to my office!"
I was torn between protesting and pleading for fairness. It was not all my fault and I didn't want the blame, but I did wish to finish out the day. Throbbing with anger I followed, listening as he called personnel.
"Hello? Mac? Mac, this is Kimbro. It's about this fellow you sent me this morning. I'm sending him in to pick up his pay . . . What did he do? He doesn't satisfy me, that's what. I don't like his work . . . So the old man has to have a report, so what? Make him one. Tell him goddamit this fellow ruined a batch of government stuff -- Hey! No, don't tell him that . . . Listen, Mac, you got anyone else out there? . . . Okay, forget it."
He crashed down the phone and swung toward me. "I swear I don't know why they hire you fellows. You just don't belong in a paint plant. Come on."
Bewildered, I followed him into the tank room, yearning to quit and tell him to go to hell. But I needed the money, and even though this was the North I wasn't ready to fight unless I had to. Here I'd be one against how many?
I watched him empty the graduate back into the tank and noted carefully when he went to another marked SKA-3-69-T-Y and refilled it. Next time I would know.
"Now, for God's sake," he said, handing me the graduate, "be careful and try to do the job right. And if you don't know what to do, ask somebody. I'll be in my office."
I returned to the buckets, my emotions whirling. Kimbro had forgotten to say what was to be done with the spoiled paint. Seeing it there I was suddenly seized by an angry impulse, and, filling the dropper with fresh dope, I stirred ten drops into each bucket and pressed home the covers. Let the government worry about that, I thought, and started to work on the unopened buckets. I stirred until my arm ached and painted the samples as smoothly as I could, becoming more skillful as I went along.
When Kimbro came down the floor and watched I glanced up silently and continued stirring.
"How is it?" he said, frowning.
"I don't know," I said, picking up a sample and hesitating.
"Well?"
"It's nothing . . . a speck of dirt," I said, standing and holding out the sample, a tightness growing within me.
Holding it close to his face, he ran his fingers over the surface and squinted at the texture. "That's more like it," he said. "That's the way it oughta be."
I watched with a sense of unbelief as he rubbed his thumb over the sample, handed it back and left without a further word.
I looked at the painted slab. It appeared the same: a gray tinge glowed through the whiteness, and Kimbro had failed to detect it. I stared for about a minute, wondering if I were seeing things, inspected another and another. All were the same, a brilliant white diffused with gray, I closed my eyes for a moment and looked again and still no change. Well, I thought, as long as he's satisfied . . .
But I had a feeling that something had gone wrong, something far more important than the paint; that either I had played a trick on Kimbro or he, like the trustees and Bledsoe, was playing one on me . . .
When the truck backed up to the platform I was pressing the cover on the last bucket -- and there stood Kimbro above me.
"Let's see your samples," he said.
I reached, trying to select the whitest, as the blue-shirted truckmen climbed through the loading door.
"How about it, Kimbro," one of them said, "can we get started?"
"Just a minute, now," he said, studying the sample, "just a minute . . ."
I watched him nervously, waiting for him to throw a fit over the gray tinge and hating myself for feeling nervous and afraid. What would I say? But now he was turning to the