Iran - Andrew Burke [342]
There are often no-shows for bus trips, so seats can magically appear on otherwise full buses just before departure. Alternatively, you might be offered the back seat. If you’re desperate, then looking like it, plus helpless and lost, usually helps.
Tickets are almost always in Farsi, so learn the Arabic numbers to check the day of departure, time of departure, bus number, seat number, platform number and fare. If it’s incomprehensible someone at the terminal, should point you in the right direction.
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ONE HABITAT, TWO SPECIES: MAHMOOLY & VOLVO
Iran’s roads are home to two main species of bus, the mahmooly (mercedus antiquus) and the Volvo (bus invita Minerva). Both enjoy a wide range of habitats, happy to roam relentlessly across deserts or forage through remote mountain roads in search of prey, known as passengers. They are seldom seen without an accompanying crew of three Iranian men (quem pilosus). But while the mahmooly and Volvo coexist fairly peacefully within the bus kingdom, they do boast some important differences.
Mahmooly
Apart from the odd throwback, mahmooly (or ‘normal’ in Farsi) buses share a common gene stock that can be traced back to the Mercedes family in Germany. Herded by salesmen, they began an epic migration during the 1960s and within two decades had come to dominate the Iranian roadscape. They were celebrated for their beauty and comfort, notably their curvaceous bodies, colourful hides, generous legroom and large windows. And while some remain in rude health even into their 40s, with working air-conditioning and carefully groomed curtains, the herd as a whole is in decline. By the late 1990s, the mahmooly had slowed so much that it began to be replaced, particularly on longer journeys, by new predators that came thundering in from far-off Scandinavia….
Volvo
The first of these was the Volvo. Bigger, faster and with a respiratory system evolved to breathe ice-cold air more reliably, Iranian passengers were soon lining up to roam with the Volvo even though it cost almost twice as much to do so. Volvo herders learnt new hunting techniques, luring passengers with boiled lollies, packaged cakes, biscuits, a steady stream of Zam Zam (soft drink) and deafeningly loud Bollywood movies.
Seeing the success of the Volvo, other European sub-species began to appear in the Iranian habitat. MAN, Scania and similar boxy European breeds rolled in, and Iranians began calling these sub-species different names depending on their age and location. Some older buses, their air-conditioners no-longer working and their engines weak with age, are called ‘lux’, or ‘super-lux’, and cost slightly less to roam with, while in some areas newer Volvos are called ‘super’, an apparent reference to the awe in which they are held. In this book, we refer to all new buses, be they Volvo, MAN, Scania or even some exotic Korean breeds, as Volvos. Passengers unsure of which herd to saddle up with should consider these points. Seats in mahmooly buses are usually just as comfortable as those in Volvos, are cheap enough you can buy two for the price of one Volvo seat, and the air-con usually works. Speed and cost are the real differences, as was illustrated during a migration from Shiraz to Tehran. We ranged with a Volvo while a fellow traveller chose a mahmooly, telling us ‘there’s really not that much difference – save the money’. Alas, his mahmooly took 19 hours, our Volvo 12½.
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The Journey
Don’t count on averaging more than 60km/h on most bus journeys. Buses often arrive in a town in the early hours of the morning, which can be a hassle. On most trips of more than three hours you’ll stop at roadside restaurants serving cheap food. Ice-cold