Iran - Andrew Burke [71]
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DANGERS & ANNOYANCES
Traffic
Even for the experienced Asia hand, the chaotic traffic in Tehran is likely to come as quite a shock. Almost anything goes on these roads and often does. It’s not unusual to see motorcycles weaving between pedestrians on the footpath in an attempt to escape the gridlock; Paykans reversing at speed along an expressway to reach that missed exit; and all manner of cars and buses hurtling towards each other in a Darwinian game of chicken where, however, the biggest and fastest don’t always survive.
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BAD DRIVING? IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD
The physical danger notwithstanding, the main problem you face as a visitor on Tehran’s streets is mental: how to deal with this manic mass of metal. After much testing, we believe the following attitudinal adjustments will not only free you of some of the traffic-induced anxiety, but make your Tehran experience all the more memorable.
Try not to think of Tehrani drivers as ‘hopeless’, ‘crazy’ or ‘stupid’; it will just make you more scared.
Instead, look at all the tiny gaps your taxi driver is negotiating without recourse to the brakes, the countless sticky situations from which he extricates himself, and you start to realise these guys are actually good drivers.
Watch your driver closely: he almost never uses his mirrors (if he has any); he drapes his seatbelt across his chest only when driving onto an expressway, where he can be fined; he rarely indicates; and he happily makes U-turns in the middle of major roads – all without raising his heartbeat.
Then think of how well you’d have to drive to get through this nightmarish traffic without being involved in an accident. That’s right, don’t fight it, you know these guys are actually very good!
Finally, embrace the chaos! Head to the corner of Jomhuri-ye Eslami Ave and Ferdosi St and engage a motorbike taxi for a trip across town. Tell him you’re in a hurry, and hold on. At Disneyland you’d pay good money for this kind of white-knuckle ride; in Tehran it’s just part of life.
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The sheer volume of traffic can be overwhelming and makes crossing the street seem like a game of Russian roulette, only in this game there are fewer empty chambers. Indeed, it is hard to overestimate the risk of an accident, whether you’re in a vehicle or on foot.
However, after the initial shock, visitors are often surprised there are not more accidents. You might feel as if you’ve had three near-death experiences in the course of a single cab ride, but in reality drivers are adept at getting you near to death without actually killing you (see the boxed text, above). As a pedestrian, the best way to ensure a safe negotiation of Tehran’s streets is to do what the locals do. Safety in numbers is the usual tactic – wait for one or two other road-crossers to appear and, with them between you and the traffic, step boldly out into the flow. Be aware of contra-flow bus lanes, which turn relatively harmless one-way streets into a far more dangerous street-crossing challenge.
But perhaps the most reassuring thing of all is to remember that no matter how ‘crazy’ a driver appears to be, he will do everything he can to avoid running you over simply because doing so is just too much hassle. For more on Iran’s traffic, Click here.
Pollution
Tehran is one of the most polluted cities