Island - Aldous Huxley [5]
“But why did they teach him those things? Why ‘Attention’? Why ‘Here and now’?”
“Well…” She searched for the right words in which to explain the self-evident to this strange imbecile. “That’s what you always forget, isn’t it? I mean, you forget to pay attention to what’s happening. And that’s the same as not being here and now.”
“And the mynahs fly about reminding you—is that it?”
She nodded. That, of course, was it. There was a silence.
“What’s your name?” she inquired.
Will introduced himself.
“My name’s Mary Sarojini MacPhail.”
“MacPhail?” It was too implausible.
“MacPhail,” she assured him.
“And your little brother is called Tom Krishna?” She nodded. “Well, I’m damned!”
“Did you come to Pala by the airplane?”
“I came out of the sea.”
“Out of the sea? Do you have a boat?”
“I did have one.” With his mind’s eye Will saw the waves breaking over the stranded hulk, heard with his inner ear the crash of their impact. Under her questioning he told her what had happened. The storm, the beaching of the boat, the long nightmare of the climb, the snakes, the horror of falling…He began to tremble again, more violently than ever.
Mary Sarojini listened attentively and without comment. Then, as his voice faltered and finally broke, she stepped forward and, the bird still perched on her shoulder, kneeled down beside him.
“Listen, Will,” she said, laying a hand on his forehead. “We’ve got to get rid of this.” Her tone was professional and calmly authoritative.
“I wish I knew how,” he said between chattering teeth.
“How?” she repeated. “But in the usual way, of course. Tell me again about those snakes and how you fell down.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want to.”
“Of course you don’t want to,” she said. “But you’ve got to. Listen to what the mynah’s saying.”
“Here and now, boys,” the bird was still exhorting. “Here and now, boys.”
“You can’t be here and now,” she went on, “until you’ve got rid of those snakes. Tell me.”
“I don’t want to, I don’t want to.” He was almost in tears.
“Then you’ll never get rid of them. They’ll be crawling about inside your head forever. And serve you right,” Mary Sarojini added severely.
He tried to control the trembling; but his body had ceased to belong to him. Someone else was in charge, someone malevolently determined to humiliate him, to make him suffer.
“Remember what happened when you were a little boy,” Mary Sarojini was saying. “What did your mother do when you hurt yourself?”
She had taken him in her arms, had said, “My poor baby, my poor little baby.”
“She did that?” The child spoke in a tone of shocked amazement. “But that’s awful! That’s the way to rub it in. ‘My poor baby,’” she repeated derisively, “it must have gone on hurting for hours. And you’d never forget it.”
Will Farnaby made no comment, but lay there in silence, shaken by irrepressible shudderings.
“Well, if you won’t do it yourself, I’ll have to do it for you. Listen, Will: there was a snake, a big green snake, and you almost stepped on him. You almost stepped on him, and it gave you such a fright that you lost your balance, you fell. Now say it yourself—say it!”
“I almost stepped on him,” he whispered obediently. “And then I…” He couldn’t say it. “Then I fell,” he brought out at last, almost inaudibly.
All the horror of it came back to him—the nausea of fear, the panic start that had made him lose his balance, and then worse fear and the ghastly certainty that it was the end.
“Say it again.”
“I almost stepped on him. And then…”
He heard himself whimpering.
“That’s right, Will. Cry—cry!”
The whimpering became a moaning. Ashamed, he clenched his teeth, and the moaning stopped.
“No, don’t do that,” she cried. “Let it come out if it wants to. Remember that snake, Will. Remember how you fell.”
The moaning broke out again and he began to shudder more violently than ever.
“Now tell me what happened.”
“I could see its eyes, I could see its tongue going in and out.”
“Yes, you could see his tongue. And what happened then?”
“I lost my balance, I fell.”
“Say it again, Will.” He was sobbing now. “Say