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By Root 548 0

Peter, running her fingers over the scar on his forehead just above his right eye. Even though he shouldnt have had the scar yet, the cut came later, in the dream she didnt question it. And there at the bottom of the rabbit hole, she threw her arms around him, thinking him a miracle. She let herself kiss him, her mouth fumbling against his in the half light, so happy to be rescued, so happy that she had realized that this was just what the rabbit was supposed to lead her to, this was where she was meant to be, now and forever. But then she pulled back and saw that he had blood on his hands and face. His cut was open again, and he was bleeding from the forehead. In his hands, he held tiny pieces of crumpled paper.

Our fears, he whispered.Do you remember?

JULY 4, 1993

AFTER PETER ANDRhonda left the coffin workshop, they walked across the driveway to his house. Daniel was nowhere to be seen. Aggie was doing the dishes in the kitchen, scrubbing at the cake pan, the big plastic bowls that held the salads. Peter called, Night, Wendy, and walked off to his room. Rhonda found Lizzy in her own room, stretched out on top of the covers in her Captain Hook outfit, pretending to be asleep. Rhonda could tell she was faking, but didnt feel like talking anyway. Lizzy had laid out a nightgown for Rhonda on top of the extra bed. Theyd planned all week for Rhonda to spend the night, and although Rhonda wanted more than anything to go home, she didnt want to deal with the inevitable questions from JustineDid you have a fight? Are you okay?Lately Justine always asked a million questions anyway whenever Rhonda got back from a night at Lizzys:What did you do? How late were you up? Was Aggie there? Peter? Daniel?

Rhonda slipped on her nightgown, lay down in the twin bed next to Lizzys. The room glowed from a rocking horse night-light plugged into the outlet next to the closet. Rhonda could see the pencil lines and dates Lizzy had scribbled on the frame of the closet doorway to measure her growth. She could see the last measurement was from July 1. So Lizzy hadnt given up on being a Rockette. This gave Rhonda hope. She lay there listening to Lizzys fake snore, wondering if, once the play was over, shed get the good Lizzy back. The door to the bedroom creaked open, then closed. Rhonda turned. No one was there. She shut her eyes and fell asleep, dreaming of a Lizzy so tall that she bumped her head on the ceilings.

She woke up later to find that Lizzy had crawled into bed next to her and had placed the hook on her pillow, next to Rhondas head, so that it was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. The next thing she noticed was the foul smell coming from Lizzy: a mixture of body odor, stale urine, and breath as bad as any dogs shed ever smelled.

I have a secret, Lizzy whispered, her fetid breath hot on Rhondas face. Do you want to hear?

Rhonda closed her eyes and turned so that she was facedown, being comfortably smothered by the pillow. She waited, playing possum, wondering if Lizzy would tell her secret anyway, but she didnt. Rhondas cheek was pressed against Lizzys hook, and when she awoke the next morning, she had a red mark there, like a scar.

JUNE 17, 2006

RHONDA WOKE UPand wrapped a blanket around herself. She watched Warren as he slept, tempted to wake him and tell him her dream about the rabbit hole.

Instead, she stood, put on her robe, padded gently out of the bedroom, and made a pot of coffee. Then she sat on the couch with the first cup in her hand. She found the remote and pressedPLAY . There was Peter again, struggling with his shadow, about to wake Wendy from her innocent slumber, and ferry her off to the Neverland.

Hey, Warren said, as he leaned over the back of the couch and kissed the top of her head. I smell coffee.

I thought you didnt drink coffee.

Warren laughed. I drink it on special occasions.

Well, Im honored, then. Theres a pot in the kitchen. Creams in the fridge. Help yourself. She watched as he sauntered into the kitchen in his boxers, seeming perfectly at ease.