Island of Lost Girls - Jennifer McMahon [86]
Rhonda bit her lip.Not Daniel , she wanted to gasp, but that was against the rules. And besides, she knew it was the truth, didnt she? She felt it deep in her bones, in the tingle of the scar on her forehead. It had been there all along like a sleeping tiger, the dark secret in the back of her brain.
He called me his special girl, Lizzy continued. His star. He said we had a secret bond between us, something no one else could touch. He made me promise never to tell because if I did, it would be ruined and he would be very angry. He told me no one would believe me anyway. No one would believe that I was such a lucky girl. Theyd think I was making it up.
Rhonda gazed down into the water. The sand at the bottom of the stream sparkled where the sunlight hit it. She remembered once how she, Peter, and Lizzy had panned for gold with an old aluminum pie plate at one of the creeks that led into the lake. Lizzy thought the mica they found was real silver. She saved it all in a little box and said that when she got big, she was going to have it turned into a mirror.
It got bad, Rhonda. Real bad. When he was drinking, when the coffin thing wasnt taking off and he was home all the time, he was always after me. Hed take me into his shop and make me do things. Tell me stories about things his father had done to him, how fathers carried this special kind of love inside them. He gave me these coins, these silver dollars. They were my prize for staying silent. But you know what I kept thinking? About the ferryman. You know, the guy who takes people across the River Styx to the underworld in his boat? Id read about it in some book of Peters. He was paid by the coins stuck in the eyes of the corpses. I felt like my father was paying the ferryman. But I was the one who kept making the trip.
Rhonda thought of the bag of coins, how it grew all summer. Lizzys pirate treasure.
I was so scared, Rhonda. And it was more than fear. I felt alone, and crazy, and just sick. I couldnt protect myself. I tried turning into Captain Hook, thinking that would do it. I thought if I didnt wash, if I was filthy and said horrible things, he would stop. But it didnt matter.
As Lizzy went on, Rhonda felt as if she were falling; falling down deep into the rabbit hole of her dreams. The place where memories dwell. Where the truth lay buried and guarded.
It took me a long time to gather up the courage to say anything, Lizzy explained, but I knew I had toI couldnt go on carrying the weight alone. You were my best friend, my secret gypsy twin, and I longed to tell you. I tried. The only time I came close was the night of Peters birthday when you slept overdo you remember?
Rhonda nodded.I have a secret.
What if Rhonda hadnt turned away then? What if shed done what a better friend might have, and actually listened?
Finally, I decided to go to Peter, Lizzy told her. If I expected help from any of you, it would have to start with my brother. He was olderI thought hed get it, know what I was talking about.
But he was furious. He said it was a lie, and that I was fucked upit was the first time I heard him sayfuck , I thinkmaking up a crazy story just to get attention. That I was jealous of Tock, jealous of you, and just a sick little girl making up lies. I told himeverything . And it was hard, Rhonda, hard to talk about what Daddy was doing to me. What I had done. I mean, I was eleven, for Christs sake. But I did it. Every fucking sordid detail and still he didnt believe. Not Dad, he said. Dad wouldnever do that.
I was crying, begging him to believe me. Peter said he needed proof. And then, he came up with a plan. He wanted me to bring Daddy out to the stage that night after the play. He wanted to see it with his own eyes.
So the night of the play, just like Peter planned, I showed him. I made him believe.
Lizzy paused for a moment. She pursed her lips, gazed