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First of all, there is no reason to be intimidated by squat toilets; in fact, I’ve read that relieving oneself in this fashion is actually healthier than our fashion of sitting on a toilet seat. However, handicapped visitors or anyone of any age who has difficulty squatting and standing up again will positively not be able to navigate a Turkish toilet, as there is nothing to hold on to. As I noted above, it is often likely that you will not find toilet paper inside individual stalls of squat toilets. (And by the way, this is not unique to Turkey: even when I’m in Paris, a city with quite a number of Turkish toilets, I always have tissues in my bag.) At some establishments, you will enter the washroom and there will be a few rolls of toilet paper on a stool outside of the individual stalls. You may take from these rolls, but it’s better to use the paper you’ve remembered to bring along in your pocket, in case you need more than what you’ve taken from the roll.

Inside other stalls, there will be a small faucet coming out of the wall, and sometimes there will be a small plastic bucket on the floor. The bucket is for toilet paper—do not put toilet paper in the toilet itself due to the country’s weak plumbing facilities—and the faucet is for water with which to wash your left hand. This is actually a best-case scenario. In some cases, there is no bucket for the toilet paper, and you are faced with the dilemma of what to do with the paper. I have absolutely no idea what other people do with the paper, but I simply manage to neatly and cleanly fold the paper up, put it in my pocket, and then remove it and deposit it in the washroom’s trash basket. (There usually is one, and for those times there isn’t, I just throw it out the next time I see one.) This seems to work reasonably well.

The next hurdle to overcome is that, though there is a sink in most washrooms, most of the time with running water, there is rarely a towel of any kind with which to dry your hands. This is why I always carry those packaged towelettes, which are also handy in general. (And you’ll also have your tissues, of course.) If there is a bathroom attendant, he or she will leave you in privacy and there will be a small dish set aside for you to place a few coins. When you walk out, the attendant will quickly reappear to clean the stall and collect the coins.

You may also encounter a type of squat toilet that flushes. Typically you pull down on a cord or chain, but remember not to flush your toilet paper down the drain. Some of these flushing varieties produce quite a wave, with the water coming up over the basin (and your feet). Guard against this possibility by not flushing until you’re ready to step away; then flush as you simultaneously open the door of the stall and step out.

A final note to female readers: if you can avoid scheduling your trip during the time you’re menstruating, you will be infinitely more comfortable and you will thank me, as negotiating squat toilets while you have your period is a whole other ball of wax.

U

Üsküdar

Üsküdar is an Istanbul neighborhood in Asia, directly opposite the mouth of the Golden Horn. It was founded in the seventh century BC by Greeks from Megara and was known as Chrysopolis, City of Gold. For centuries it played second fiddle to its greater neighbor Chalcedon (Kadıköy, which today has “virtually no historical monuments of any great importance” according to John Freely), and was referred to by the Delphic Oracle as “the land of the blind” for its founders’ inability to see the superior merits of the site of Byzantium (both Chrysopolis and Chalcedon had poor defenses and were often occupied and destroyed by invading armies while Constantinople remained impregnable). By the twelfth century, Chrysopolis was called Scutari, taken from Constantine’s Scutarion Palace that was built there (neither this nor any other Byzantine building remains today).

Mahmud I built barracks on the outskirts of Üsküdar in the eighteenth century and, as more were added over the year, it became one of the main military centers