It's My Life - Melody Carlson [56]
“Do you think that has anything to do with why you quit eating?”
She looked down at her hands in her lap. “Well, that's what my shrink suggested.”
I reached over and touched her shoulder. “But you know your parents don't own you, Jenny. Don't you?”
“Sometimes I think I do. Other times, I'm not so sure. I mean, think about it. They're the ones who pay for everything. They put a roof over my head, buy my clothes. And they'll pay my college tuition. Right now they pay for my care here, which, my dad keeps lovingly reminding me, is not covered by insurance and is not cheap.”
I glanced around nervously, thinking perhaps she didn't really need this kind of stressful conversation that I'd brought on. But then again, maybe she did. “But if you had to, Jenny, I'm sure you could support yourself without your parents. Not that you'd ever need to do that.”
She shook her head. “I'm not so sure.”
“I bet you could, Jenny.”
“Yeah, maybe.” Then she studied me curiously. “Caitlin, do you really, truly think you could just pack it all up and take off for Mexico to feed those garbage dump kids like you said? I mean, not just talking, but for real.”
I carefully considered her question, then tried to answer as honestly as I knew. “I think if that's what God was calling me to do, then with God's help I could probably do it.”
“Even if your parents totally disowned you?”
“Well, I don't think they–”
“But what if they did?”
“Then I'd just have to follow my heart and simply do what I believed God was telling me to do.”
“But how would you get by? I mean, where would you get money to live and stuff?”
“I'd just have to trust God for everything I needed. I'd have to trust Him to take care of me as well as provide what I needed to give to the kids. I know it probably sounds crazy–”
“No, not totally.”
I smiled. “Actually, I think it would be kind of exciting. That is, if I was absolutely certain it was God's will for me to do it. And I think it'd be fun.”
“Yeah, it sounds kind of fun to me too.”
”Really?” I stared at jenny in disbelief. Was she pulling my leg?
“Yeah, I really do. And I can guess what you're thinking right now. You're probably wondering how a girl who cannot even feed herself might ever imagine that she could go down there and help feed all those starving Mexican children. Right?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, sort of.”
“Well, I've been actually thinking about those starving kids the last couple days and thinking how they'd probably give anything for all the food I've just thrown away during the last six months or so. And let me tell you, that makes me feel totally rotten.”
“That's not good.”
“Yeah, but more than that, it makes me feel really furious too. Not just angry with myself, but at my parents as well. I mean, I realize this whole thing isn't totally their fault. I'm the one who originally quit eating. But according to my shrink, and I'm starting to believe him too, a large part of this is the result of how they've treated me.”
I nodded. “From what I've read, I think you're probably right about that.”
“And yet, I know that I'm the only one who can fix this mess I've gotten into. It's pretty much up to me right now.”
“Yeah, Jenny, but I really believe that God can help you too.”
“Well, it might surprise you to know that I've actually been thinking about God lately.”
“Really?”
She nodded firmly. “And I told myself yesterday, if you and Beanie came back here again, I was going to ask you both to pray for me. Right here. Just like the time you prayed for me at my house. Remember?”
“Yeah.”
“So would you?”
”Pray? Of course. I've been praying for you a lot.”
“I can tell.”
So then I just sat there and bowed my head and prayed for her. Even with that girl making all her weird noises in the background. I prayed for several minutes, and just before I finished, I even prayed for that girl. And then I waited quietly for a few moments,