It's My Life - Melody Carlson [72]
“Thanks,” I said happily, then tried to change the subject. “Wasn't that a great wedding ceremony?”
He nodded. “But really you look great. I'm thinking it's a good thing you're sticking to your no dating rule.” Then he frowned. “You are, aren't you?”
“Sure. Nothing's changed.”
He seemed to sigh in relief. “Well, that's good.”
Now that confused me a little. “I know it's good. But why do you say that, especially when you used to question the whole thing?”
He smiled. “It just means no other guy is going to come along and steal your heart.”
Well, I had to laugh at that. “Thanks, Josh. I'll take that as a compliment.”
We didn't get to talk too much at the reception because there were photos and the receiving line, and I felt kind of bad because there were a number of times when Josh was making his way toward me and something or someone would unwittingly cut him off.
So right after Tony and Steph made their getaway and Beanie caught the bouquet (which was pretty funny all things considered), I went and found Josh and told him I was sorry I'd been so busy that I hadn't been able to talk to him, and if he had time tomorrow, maybe we could meet or something.
“Now that wouldn't be a date, would it?” he asked with a raised brow.
“No. It would be two friends simply getting together to catch up. How about Starbucks tomorrow?”
We agreed on the time, and the next morning I got Beanie to cover for me with Oliver, then went over to meet Josh. And when I saw him, it happened again, that little rush that catches me by surprise and makes me a little uncomfortable. But I ask you, what normal, red-blooded American girl wouldn't feel that way? I mean, he looked so cute and collegiate in his khakis and sweater. Be still, my heart, I jokingly warned myself as I walked toward him.
We ordered our coffees and sat at a tall table. And I could tell something was troubling him. “What's wrong, Josh?”
“It's kind of hard to explain, Catie. I mean, I'm afraid it'll sound kind of lame and dumb. Although I think you might understand.”
“I'll sure try.” I took a sip of coffee. “Go ahead.”
“Well, I suppose it all started on our Mexico trip.” He looked up from his coffee. “Hey, how's your fund-raising going?”
I suspected he was avoiding something but went ahead and filled him in on the latest, including the new name, FAD. “It's kind of a silly name, but it's easier than explaining everything all the time. I just hope it doesn't give the impression that I'm not serious about it or that it's just a passing whim or something.”
He laughed. “Don't worry. I think we all know you're pretty serious about those kids.”
“Okay, enough about that. Tell me what's going on with you. Got a girlfriend who you're madly in love with and getting married next week?”
He rolled his eyes. “Actually, I've been trying to take your advice and avoid that sort of thing altogether.”
“Seriously?”
He nodded. “And let me tell you, it's not easy. I mean, some girls can be pretty pushy.”
I had to laugh. “Tell me about it. Some guys can be too.”
We both shared a couple stories, but then I still felt like he had something that he wasn't telling me. “Josh, it seems like something is troubling you.”
“Yeah, back to that. You see, I haven't told anyone about this, and for some strange reason, I think you might understand. But it sounds so stupid to say it out loud.”
“Come on, Josh,” I urged him. “Think of all the embarrassing things I've told you. We're friends; you know you can trust me. Don't you?”
He nodded. “Okay, like I said, I think it started in Mexico. But I didn't know it at the time.” He paused, and I suddenly wondered if this had to do with Andrea and their relationship. Had Josh suddenly discovered that she was the only one for him?
“Go on,” I said, growing impatient.
“Well, okay, then I went to college, and I started going to this Bible study and then to a church that these guys go to. I really like