Jackson Jones, Book 1_ The Tale of a Boy, an Elf, and a Very Stinky Fish - Jenn L. Kelly [42]
“Even after what you saw in the mirrors? Even after what you read in the Book?” Josh asked. Jackson sighed deeply. He was so confused. He wanted to believe those things, but…
“I’m so confused. I want to believe those things…” he trailed off.
Josh nodded. “Sometimes it’s easier to believe the bad stuff, isn’t it?”
Jackson sniffed loudly.
“Jackson, do you believe that the Author made you?” he asked.
Jackson nodded slowly.
“Do you believe that the Author loves you?”
Jackson’s head was filled with muddled thoughts.
Do I believe the Author loves me?
I have no idea.
How could I even know that?
I mean, Eleissa and Meeka and Josh seem to think he loves them, but how would they know?
I can understand why he would love Eleissa because she’s so smart. And Meeka is so funny and lovable. And Josh is really cool. Who wouldn’t love him?
But what about me?
I’m not smart or funny or cool. But…
If the Author made me, he knew I would mess up. So then why would he make me if he knew I was going to mess up all the time?
Why would he make me if he knew I wouldn’t be cool and have friends?
Why would he make me if he knew that I would be terrible at baseball?
Why would he even let me want to play if I’m so awful?
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute!
What if…
…if he already knew, if he already knows everything about me, and yet, he made me anyway…
…why?
Mom and Dad love me even though I mess up. Dad tells me to keep practicing, and Mom hugs me even when I make her mad. They don’t care that I’m not cool. They don’t care that I suck at baseball. And they always read my stories. It’s obvious they love me.
Maybe that’s it.
It doesn’t matter if I’m cool or good at baseball or smart…
Maybe the Author made me just because…
…because he loves me. How could someone make something and not love it?
“Yes. I do believe the Author loves me,” Jackson said finally. “And I think it doesn’t matter whether I’m smart or cool or…”
Josh nodded eagerly.
“He just…wants me to follow my dreams, to find the purpose he planned for me.”
“So then why did you pick the white stones?” Josh asked.
“I chose the white stones because they were calling to me.” Jackson felt a little silly saying that, but so many silly things had happened that night, this didn’t seem too strange.
“Go on,” Josh encouraged.
“I was lying down in the river and I heard my name. I couldn’t figure out who or what was speaking, but when I picked up the white stones and listened, they were calling me. So these stones had to be mine, right? I mean, that seems a logical explanation to me.”
Josh smiled. “Jackson, sometimes all you have to do is be quiet and listen. I know you’re only ten and a half, but you’re growing up. And there will be times in your life when you will have quiet in your life that is not self-created. And during those times you’ll be struggling and searching, and bitterness and heartache will find you. That’s when you’ll discover the answers. Life is hard. Life is painful. But without hardships and pain, you’ll never grow as a person. You’ll never develop confidence or character or hope. But here’s the cool part—in all of those struggles, during all those times you want to give up, you need to be quiet and you need to be still, because otherwise you won’t hear the answers.”
“What answers?” Jackson asked.
“Answers to what you have to do. Answers on where to go. Answers to who you are. To quote the Author, ‘in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength.’”
Josh pointed at the river. “The test in the river was that you could have picked any of the white stones. You could have taken one step into the river and stepped right out again with one of them in your hand.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that? I almost died in the waterfall!”
“But you didn’t die, did you?” Josh asked.
“That’s what I said!” chirped Meeka. Josh looked over at her and smiled. She sat back down, pleased with herself.
“You didn’t die. The Author was probably testing you,” Josh said.
“Testing me for what? I nearly died!” Jackson repeated loudly.
“Jackson. From what you told me,