Jane and the Unpleasantness at Scargrave - Stephanie Barron [40]
“I have so far learned from my brother's example, Miss Austen, as to spurn passion in anything. It is too often the means of unmastering a sober mind. Better to approach all that one can in life, with probity and discretion. Reason is my beloved tool, as ardour has become my brother's.”
“I commend you, sir—though I might consider a judicious mixture of the two, as the best guarantee of happiness.”
He merely nodded, his thoughts apparently elsewhere, and left me as desperate for an opening as before. We laboured on in silence a few moments, but at the broad face of Scargrave approaching, I forced myself to the purpose.
“I suppose the Earl's death has only heightened the attractions of the out-of-doors,” I observed, “for to sit by the fire in contemplation of his sudden exiting from this life, should do little good to anybody.”
“Indeed,” Mr. Hearst replied, his eyes upon the muddied path at our feet.
“I suppose you held the Earl in deep affection?” I persisted. At his expression of surprise, I added lamely, “It is just that I had so little opportunity to study his lordship's character—the Countess having married so recently, and the Earl departing his life almost upon the moment that I entered it.”
“And are you a student of character; Miss Austen?” Mr. Hearst enquired, avoiding the necessity of answering my question.
“Oh! But of course!” I exclaimed, with greater enthusiasm for the game than I felt; “is there anything more worth the study?”
“In my opinion, there is little that is less worthy of your penetration. The character of a man is formed for disappointment, I believe; the more one knows of one's fellow beings, the less one is inclined to cherish them—or oneself.”
“Mr Hearst! I am all amazement! Are these the sentiments of a man of the Church? You must seek to reform your views, if Holy Orders remain your object.”
“But perhaps it is my poor opinion of my fellows that spurs my aspirations heavenwards, Miss Austen.”
“I dare say,” I rejoined, “your contempt for the human condition leaving you no alternative. But it cannot serve to improve your parishioners’ lot. As a clergyman's daughter; I must advise you to choose the solitude of the cloister; Mr. Hearst, rather than the pulpit. Its lofty height cannot preserve you from the disaffection of your flock, if you offer them only scorn.”
“You think me ill-suited to the office?” he enquired, with an anxious look.
Rather than crush him entirely, I took refuge in a lady's prevarication. “I should never attempt to judge a gentleman's ambition,” I replied circumspectly.
Mr. Hearst appeared to hesitate, as if in debate with himself, and then stopped in the lane, the better to hold my attention. “That is, perhaps, an answer to my question, though not one I should wish to hear—for had you unreservedly believed me fitted for the Church, I believe you should as readily have affirmed it. I fear my uncle was of your opinion, Miss Austen. He told me I should make a sorry clergyman. He would not hear of Holy Orders, and urged me to take instead the part of gentleman farmer.”
“His lordship thwarted you deliberately?”
“He did,” Mr. Hearst replied. “My uncle believed I lacked what is essential for a man of the cloth.”
“That being, in the Earl's opinion?”
“Obedience. Humility. The Earl would have it that I suffer from pride, Miss Austen, out of all proportion to my station in life. Though how I could be expected to do otherwise—” At this, he broke off, and glanced around the expanse of Scargrave Park. I understood him all too well. He was of good birth—his mother the daughter of an earl—but utterly without an income capable of supporting such claims as family imposed. Neither freedom of will, nor freedom from dependence, should be his so long as he remained in Scargrave Cottage; and yet, how go elsewhere, on so little means? Pride, indeed, might be all that remained to such a man.
“And so you were subject to the Earl's whims,” I said, as we plodded on. Very little of the lane remained to be travelled, and if I were to learn anything to my advantage, I must