Jane Bites Back_ A Novel - Michael Thomas Ford [33]
“I came at your invitation!” Jane objected.
“Yes, yes,” Byron agreed. “But it was you who wrote to me first. I simply did what I could tell you wanted. You didn’t have to come. In fact, I believe you took great pains to make the journey.”
Jane stood up. “You’re impossible,” she said. She turned away from him so he wouldn’t see the frustration in her face.
He was beside her in a moment. “I’m sorry,” he said gently.
“You’re not,” said Jane. “You never were.”
Byron put his hands on her shoulders. She allowed them to stay there. “I am now,” he said. “I’ve changed over time. I know now that what I did to you was wrong.”
“It’s a bit late for that realization,” said Jane.
Byron kissed her hair. “I never meant to hurt you,” he said. “I was careless.”
“Careless,” Jane repeated, shaking her head. “Is that what you call it?”
“What other word is there for it?”
Jane turned, facing him. She looked into his eyes. “Evil,” she said. “I would call it evil.”
She was surprised to see that Byron was genuinely hurt. He stepped back, his face twisted in confusion. She almost reached out to him, but forced her hands to stay at her sides.
“Do you really hate me so much?” Byron asked. His voice shook with emotion, and his eyes betrayed the sadness in his heart.
A long silence passed during which Jane wrestled with her emotions. Don’t let him in, she warned herself. Not even a little. She knew she should listen. She should end things once and for all. But another part of her wept to see Byron in despair. He says he’s changed, she argued.
“No,” she said finally. “I don’t hate you. Not anymore. Because of you I’ve seen and done wonderful things. Have I hated you sometimes in the past? I would be lying if I said I haven’t. But what good does it do?”
Byron dropped to his knees before her and grasped her hands, laying his cheek on them. “I knew you couldn’t,” he said. “Jane, you don’t know how often I’ve longed for you. But I couldn’t face you, knowing how you must feel about me. About what I did.”
Jane closed her eyes. She was remembering too much. Things she had buried deep within her mind were rising to the surface. Memories. Images. Feelings. None of them welcome.
“Stand up,” she told Byron, pulling him to his feet. She continued to hold his hands as they faced each other. “I don’t hate you,” she said. “But I don’t love you either.”
Byron brought one of her hands to his mouth and kissed it. “No,” he said. “Not now you don’t. But perhaps you will again.”
Before Jane could contradict him he kissed her. His mouth closed over hers, his lips full and warm. Jane struggled only a moment before giving in. She kissed him back, hating herself but unable to resist. His arms slipped around her, pulling her close so that their bodies were pressed tightly together. Almost immediately Jane was overcome with a tingling that flowed over her skin, causing her to shudder. She’d forgotten what it was like to kiss one of her own kind.
The sensation grew more intense the longer they kissed. Jane felt her thoughts begin to join with Byron’s. She knew that soon she would lose all control as her connection with him intensified. She had only moments left.
Summoning what was left of her will, she pulled away from him. The separation was painful, and she gasped. It was as if she’d been torn away from a dream and plunged into reality. She was suddenly intensely cold, and put her arms around herself in what she already knew was a futile attempt at getting warm.
“I can’t,” she whispered as Byron reached for her.
“You can,” he said. His voice was seductive, and for a moment she felt herself slipping back into the dream state.
“No,” she said, shaking her head vigorously. “Please, just go.”
She was surprised when Byron turned and walked to the door. He opened it and turned back to look at her. “Who listens once will listen twice,” he said softly. “Her heart, be sure, is not of ice, and one refusal no rebuff.” Then he was gone, and Jane was alone in her living room.
“Damn you,” she said to the door.
She turned the lights off and went upstairs.