Jane Bites Back_ A Novel - Michael Thomas Ford [60]
She called Lucy in and gave her a brief rundown of what was happening. As she’d expected, Lucy was only too happy to stay with Tom for the week. Going over the store business took very little time as well, and at the end of fifteen minutes Jane had just one item on her to-do list.
“What does one wear on daytime television?” she asked Lucy.
“Nothing white,” Lucy answered instantly.
“White?” said Jane. “Why not white?”
“In case you get your period,” Lucy explained. When Jane looked at her with a confused expression, Lucy added, “I’m just saying. You don’t want to be up there onstage and get a note from Sally.”
“Where do you come up with this stuff?” Jane asked. “Aunt Flo? A note from Sally? You’re like a gynecological thesaurus.”
“Blame my mother,” said Lucy. “She never called things by their real names. Until I was seventeen I called my vagina my weet-woo.”
“I suppose that’s better than calling it your lady garden,” Jane mused. “Anyway apart from not wearing white, we haven’t narrowed down my fashion options.”
“I’ll come over tonight,” said Lucy. “We’ll go through your closet and see what you have. I’m sure something will work. And if not, we can always go to the mall.”
Jane shuddered. “The mall,” she said, pronouncing the word as if it were an incurable disease.
“Yeah, well, you might just have to suck it up,” Lucy told her. “I’m not letting you meet Comfort and Joy looking like you usually do.”
“Like I usually do?” Jane said. “What does that mean?”
Lucy indicated Jane with a wave of her hand. “Like this,” she said.
“It’s not that bad!” Jane exclaimed.
“Sorry,” said Lucy. “It kind of is.”
“Byron didn’t seem to think so,” Jane said, her dignity bruised. “Walter doesn’t think so.”
“Byron would make it with anything on two legs,” Lucy reminded her. “And Walter is … Walter. Trust me on this. You need a makeover.”
Jane looked at herself in the small mirror that hung on the wall. She did look tired, and her hair was a bit on the dull side. “I suppose I could use some freshening up,” she admitted.
“We’ll start right after work,” said Lucy. “It’ll be fun.”
The bell over the front door jingled, and Lucy went out to help the customer. Jane remained in the office, looking at her reflection in the mirror.
“It’ll be fun.” She repeated Lucy’s promise, trying to sound as if she believed it.
Chapter 21
Charles touched her cheek. “You’re like the thrush,” he said. “It is not the loudest. It does not have the brightest plumage. But its song is the most beautiful. Beautiful enough to break your heart.”
—Jane Austen, Constance, manuscript
“WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH THIS?”
Jane looked at herself in the mirror. Behind her, Lucy stood with a stunning Japanese woman dressed in a black turtleneck and stylish black pants. The woman was looking down at Jane’s hair with a bemused expression, as if it were an accident she had just come across and she was deciding whether or not the victim could be saved.
“Don’t worry,” Lucy said to Jane, patting her on the shoulder. “Aiko can do miracles.”
Jane smiled wanly. She was already regretting letting Lucy talk her into visiting her hairdresser. But according to Lucy, Aiko had graciously agreed to see Jane on short notice. Now Jane was ensconced in the woman’s chair, awaiting her verdict.
Aiko poked at Jane’s hair with a comb. “Limp,” she said.
“Sorry,” Jane apologized.
Aiko shook her head. “Horrific color,” she said.
“I did it myself,” Jane explained.
“I know,” said Aiko. She sighed deeply.
“Can you help her?” Lucy asked.
“I don’t know,” Aiko answered. “It’s bad.”
“But you’ll try?” Lucy said hopefully.
Aiko picked up a pair of scissors and snapped them open and closed several times while staring at Jane in the mirror. “I’ll try,” she confirmed.
She spun