Jane Bites Back_ A Novel - Michael Thomas Ford [70]
“And six bottles of gin,” Joy said. “But not that crap you got last time. Now go.”
The assistant ran out as Joy turned to see who had come in. When she saw Comfort and Jane, she beamed. “Hello,” she cooed as she stood and embraced Jane. “I’m soooo pleased you could come.”
“Thank you for inviting me,” said Jane. Joy was looking directly at her. Jane looked back. There was something odd about Joy’s eyes. They looked slightly dull. Then Jane remembered the Valium.
“This is going to be soooo much fun,” Joy said. “Isn’t it, Comfort?”
“Of course it is,” Comfort said cheerfully. “Jane, let me show you to the greenroom. Joy, I’ll see you in a minute.”
“Bye,” Jane called over her shoulder as Comfort hustled her out.
“Lord have mercy,” said Comfort. “That girl is mellower than a hound dog on a front porch on a warm day in July. Thank God. All I need is for her to freak out during the cooking segment.”
“Cooking segment?” Jane asked. She’d thought she was the only guest.
“Quick and easy quesadillas,” Comfort replied as they walked. “It’s only ten minutes, but sometimes Joy gets spooked when fire is involved. Anyway, our first guest is this family who collected five thousand dollars just by picking up spare change for a year. Between you and me, I think they looted a couple of wishing fountains, but the kids are cute and it makes the audience feel good. Then you’ll be on for the main part of the show, and we’ll finish up with the quesadillas.”
They arrived at the greenroom. “I’ve got to go get ready,” Comfort said. “You wait here and someone will come get you when it’s your turn. You can watch the show on the monitor if you want to.”
Jane opened the door to the greenroom. Kelly and Bryce were there, along with a family of five who Jane assumed were the change collectors. Seeing her, Kelly leapt up. “There you are,” he said. His tone suggested that he’d had more than enough of the thrifty family, all of whom stared at Jane with broad smiles on their faces.
“I’m Tammy Tucker,” the mother of the family said, waving. “This is my husband, Ted, and these are our children. Tracy and Tina are the twins, and this is Ted junior.” All three children waved at Jane in unison.
“Hello,” said Jane.
“Do you want to see my change jar?” One of the girls (she couldn’t tell which) came up to her holding out a plain glass jar filled with coins. “There’s over two hundred dollars in here!” she said proudly.
“Well,” Jane said. “Isn’t that wonderful!”
“Tina, don’t bother the nice lady writer,” said Tammy. “Let Mommy fix your hair. We’re going to go on soon.”
Leaving Tammy to ready her family, Jane and Kelly joined Bryce, who was standing at the back of the room studiously looking over a table heaped with food. “Are they gone?” he whispered.
“No,” Kelly replied. “But almost.” He turned to Jane. “They showed us the funnel they use for filling coin wrappers,” he said.
“I just couldn’t take it,” Bryce said. “If that kid said ‘Canadian pennies aren’t real money’ one more time, I was going to slap him.”
Kelly picked up a bagel. “Do you want something?” he asked Jane.
Jane shook her head. “I don’t think I should,” she said. Her stomach had already been in knots because of the Farrah problem. Now she could feel it starting to cramp. Oh, no, she thought as she realized what it meant. Not only was she nervous, she was going to need to feed soon. All of the anxiety and rushing around had used up her energy. She found herself looking at the three Tucker children. Surely they wouldn’t miss one, she thought.
Fortunately for the twins and their brother, a show staffer arrived to take them to the set. When the door was shut again, Bryce returned to the seating area. “What a horror show,” he announced. “How much money did they say they’d ‘found’ last year?” He used his fingers to indicate his doubt as to the Tuckers’ claim.
“Five thousand, I think,” Jane said.
Bryce counted on his fingers. “That’s like fourteen bucks a day,” he said.