Jingo - Terry Pratchett [143]
JINGO. Copyright © 1997 by Terry Pratchett and Lyn Pratchett. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
EPub Edition © AUGUST 2007 ISBN: 9780061807695
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* The palms are held at right angles to one another and flapped together rather than clapped, while the flapper stares intently at the audience as if to say “We’re going to have some applause here or else the whole school is in detention.”
* Women always do this.
* The possibility that they were not guilty of anything was one that he didn’t even think worthy of consideration.
* A term invented by the wizard Denephew Boot†. who had found that by a system of rewards and punishments he could train a dog, at the ringing of a bell, to immediately eat a strawberry meringue
† His parents, who were uncomplicated country people, had wanted a girl. They were expecting to call her Denise.
* Plain clothes was the problem. Both the men had been used to uniforms all their lives. Sergeant Colon’s only suit had been bought by a man two stone lighter and ten years younger, so the buttons creaked under tension, and Nobby’s idea of plain clothes was the ribbon-and-bell-bedecked costume he wore as a leading member of the Ankh-Morpork Folk Dance and Song Society. Small children had followed them in the street to see where the show was going to be.
* Constable Visit-The-Ungodly-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets was a good copper, Vimes always said, and that was his highest term of praise. He was an Omnian with his countrymen’s almost pathological interest in evangelical religion and spent all his wages on pamphlets; he even had his own printing press. The results were handed out to anyone interested and everyone who wasn’t interested as well. Even Detritus couldn’t clear a crowd faster than Visit, Vimes said. And on his days off he could be seen tramping the streets with his colleague, Smite-The-Unbeliever-With-Cunning-Arguments. So far they hadn’t made a single convert. Vimes thought that Visit was probably a really nice man underneath it all, but somehow he could never face the task of finding out.
* And would not, therefore, be officially burgled. Ankh-Morpork had a very direct approach to the idea of insurance. When the middleman was cut out, that wasn’t a figure of speech.
* It is a long-cherished tradition among a certain type of military thinker that huge casualties are the main thing. If they are on the other side then this is a valuable bonus.
* One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
* Thinking up good names was,