Joy [11]
is---- [checks himself confused; then hurrying on]--I suppose you and Joy get on all right?
LEVER. [Coolly.] Pretty well, thanks. I'm not exactly in Joy's line; have n't seen very much of her, in fact.
[Miss BEECH and JOY have been approaching from the house. But seeing LEVER, JOY turns abruptly, hesitates a moment, and with an angry gesture goes away.]
COLONEL [Unconscious.] Wonderfully affectionate little thing! Well, she'll be going home to-morrow!
MISS BEECH. [Who has been gazing after JOY.] Talkin' business, poor creatures?
LEVER. Oh, no! If you'll excuse me, I'll wash my hands before tea.
[He glances at the COLONEL poring over papers, and, shrugging his shoulders, strolls away.]
MISS BEECH. [Sitting in the swing.] I see your horrid papers.
COLONEL. Be quiet, Peachey!
MISS BEECH. On a beautiful summer's day, too.
COLONEL. That'll do now.
MISS BEECH. [Unmoved.] For every ounce you take out of a gold mine you put two in.
COLONEL. Who told you that rubbish?
MISS BEECH. [With devilry.] You did!
COLONEL. This is n't an ordinary gold mine.
MISS BEECH. Oh! quite a special thing.
[COLONEL stares at her, but subsiding at hey impassivity, he pores again over the papers.]
[Rosy has approached with a tea cloth.]
ROSE. If you please, sir, the Missis told me to lay the tea.
COLONEL. Go away! Ten fives fifty. Ten 5 16ths, Peachey?
MISS BEECH. I hate your nasty sums!
[ROSE goes away. The COLONEL Writes. MRS. HOPE'S voice is heard, "Now then, bring those chairs, you two. Not that one, Ernest." ERNEST arid LETTY appear through the openings of the wall, each with a chair.]
COLONEL. [With dull exasperation.] What do you want?
LETTY. Tea, Father.
[She places her chair arid goes away.]
ERNEST. That Johnny-bird Lever is too cocksure for me, Colonel. Those South American things are no good at all. I know all about them from young Scrotton. There's not one that's worth a red cent. If you want a flutter----
COLONEL. [Explosively.] Flutter! I'm not a gambler, sir!
ERNEST. Well, Colonel [with a smile], I only don't want you to chuck your money away on a stiff 'un. If you want anything good you should go to Mexico.
COLONEL. [Jumping up and holding out the map.] Go to [He stops in time.] What d'you call that, eh? M-E-X----
ERNEST. [Not to be embarrassed.] It all depend on what part.
COLONEL. You think you know everything--you think nothing's right unless it's your own idea! Be good enough to keep your advice to yourself.
ERNEST. [Moving with his chair, and stopping with a smile.] If you ask me, I should say it wasn't playing the game to put Molly into a thing like that.
COLONEL. What do you mean, sir?
ERNEST. Any Juggins can see that she's a bit gone on our friend.
COLONEL. [Freezingly.] Indeed!
ERNEST. He's not at all the sort of Johnny that appeals to me.
COLONEL. Really?
ERNEST. [Unmoved.] If I were you, Colonel, I should tip her the wink. He was hanging about her at Ascot all the time. It 's a bit thick!
[MRS. HOPE followed by ROSE appears from the house.]
COLONEL. [Stammering with passion.] Jackanapes!
MRS. HOPE. Don't stand there, Tom; clear those papers, and let Rose lay the table. Now, Ernest, go and get another chair.
[The COLONEL looks wildly round and sits beneath the hollow tree, with his head held in his hands. ROSE lays the cloth.]
MRS. BEECH. [Sitting beside the COLONEL.] Poor creature!
ERNEST. [Carrying his chair about with him.] Ask any Johnny in the City, he 'll tell you Mexico's a very tricky country--the people are awful rotters
MRS. HOPE. Put that chair down, Ernest.
[ERNEST looks at the chair, puts it down, opens his mouth, and goes away. ROSE follows him.]
What's he been talking about? You oughtn't to get so excited, Tom; is your head bad, old man? Here, take these papers! [She hands the papers to the COLONEL.] Peachey, go
LEVER. [Coolly.] Pretty well, thanks. I'm not exactly in Joy's line; have n't seen very much of her, in fact.
[Miss BEECH and JOY have been approaching from the house. But seeing LEVER, JOY turns abruptly, hesitates a moment, and with an angry gesture goes away.]
COLONEL [Unconscious.] Wonderfully affectionate little thing! Well, she'll be going home to-morrow!
MISS BEECH. [Who has been gazing after JOY.] Talkin' business, poor creatures?
LEVER. Oh, no! If you'll excuse me, I'll wash my hands before tea.
[He glances at the COLONEL poring over papers, and, shrugging his shoulders, strolls away.]
MISS BEECH. [Sitting in the swing.] I see your horrid papers.
COLONEL. Be quiet, Peachey!
MISS BEECH. On a beautiful summer's day, too.
COLONEL. That'll do now.
MISS BEECH. [Unmoved.] For every ounce you take out of a gold mine you put two in.
COLONEL. Who told you that rubbish?
MISS BEECH. [With devilry.] You did!
COLONEL. This is n't an ordinary gold mine.
MISS BEECH. Oh! quite a special thing.
[COLONEL stares at her, but subsiding at hey impassivity, he pores again over the papers.]
[Rosy has approached with a tea cloth.]
ROSE. If you please, sir, the Missis told me to lay the tea.
COLONEL. Go away! Ten fives fifty. Ten 5 16ths, Peachey?
MISS BEECH. I hate your nasty sums!
[ROSE goes away. The COLONEL Writes. MRS. HOPE'S voice is heard, "Now then, bring those chairs, you two. Not that one, Ernest." ERNEST arid LETTY appear through the openings of the wall, each with a chair.]
COLONEL. [With dull exasperation.] What do you want?
LETTY. Tea, Father.
[She places her chair arid goes away.]
ERNEST. That Johnny-bird Lever is too cocksure for me, Colonel. Those South American things are no good at all. I know all about them from young Scrotton. There's not one that's worth a red cent. If you want a flutter----
COLONEL. [Explosively.] Flutter! I'm not a gambler, sir!
ERNEST. Well, Colonel [with a smile], I only don't want you to chuck your money away on a stiff 'un. If you want anything good you should go to Mexico.
COLONEL. [Jumping up and holding out the map.] Go to [He stops in time.] What d'you call that, eh? M-E-X----
ERNEST. [Not to be embarrassed.] It all depend on what part.
COLONEL. You think you know everything--you think nothing's right unless it's your own idea! Be good enough to keep your advice to yourself.
ERNEST. [Moving with his chair, and stopping with a smile.] If you ask me, I should say it wasn't playing the game to put Molly into a thing like that.
COLONEL. What do you mean, sir?
ERNEST. Any Juggins can see that she's a bit gone on our friend.
COLONEL. [Freezingly.] Indeed!
ERNEST. He's not at all the sort of Johnny that appeals to me.
COLONEL. Really?
ERNEST. [Unmoved.] If I were you, Colonel, I should tip her the wink. He was hanging about her at Ascot all the time. It 's a bit thick!
[MRS. HOPE followed by ROSE appears from the house.]
COLONEL. [Stammering with passion.] Jackanapes!
MRS. HOPE. Don't stand there, Tom; clear those papers, and let Rose lay the table. Now, Ernest, go and get another chair.
[The COLONEL looks wildly round and sits beneath the hollow tree, with his head held in his hands. ROSE lays the cloth.]
MRS. BEECH. [Sitting beside the COLONEL.] Poor creature!
ERNEST. [Carrying his chair about with him.] Ask any Johnny in the City, he 'll tell you Mexico's a very tricky country--the people are awful rotters
MRS. HOPE. Put that chair down, Ernest.
[ERNEST looks at the chair, puts it down, opens his mouth, and goes away. ROSE follows him.]
What's he been talking about? You oughtn't to get so excited, Tom; is your head bad, old man? Here, take these papers! [She hands the papers to the COLONEL.] Peachey, go