Joy [26]
I can always tell when a woman's enjoying herself, Peachey.
MISS BEECH. [Sharply.] Can you? You're very clever.
COLONEL. Wonderful, that moon! I'm going to have a look at her! Splendid glasses these, Peachy [he screws them out], not a better pair in England. I remember in Burmah with these glasses I used to be able to tell a man from a woman at two miles and a quarter. And that's no joke, I can tell you. [But on his way to the moon, he has taken a survey of the earth to the right along the river. In a low but excited voice] I say, I say--is it one of the maids--the baggage! Why! It's Dick! By George, she's got her hair down, Peachey! It's Joy!
[MISS BEECH goes to look. He makes as though to hand the glasses to her, but puts them to his own eyes instead-- excitedly.]
It is! What about her headache? By George, they're kissing. I say, Peachey! I shall have to tell Nell!]
MISS BEECH. Are you sure they're kissing? Well, that's some comfort.
COLONEL. They're at the stile now. Oughtn't I to stop them, eh? [He stands on tiptoe.] We must n't spy on them, dash it all. [He drops the glasses.) They're out of sight now.
MISS BEECH. [To herself.] He said he wouldn't let her.
COLONEL. What! have you been encouraging them!
MISS BEECH. Don't be in such a hurry!
[She moves towards the hollow tree.]
COLONEL. [Abstractedly.] By George, Peachey, to think that Nell and I were once--Poor Nell! I remember just such a night as this
[He stops, and stares before him, sighing.]
MISS BEECH, [Impressively.] It's a comfort she's got that good young man. She's found out that her mother and this Mr. Lever are--you know.
COLONEL. [Losing all traces of his fussiness, and drawing himself up as though he were on parade.] You tell me that my niece?
MISS BEECH. Out of her own mouth!
COLONEL. [Bowing his head.] I never would have believed she'd have forgotten herself.
MISS BEECH. [Very solemnly.] Ah, my dear! We're all the same; we're all as hollow as that tree! When it's ourselves it's always a special case!
[The COLONEL makes a movement of distress, and Miss BEECH goes to him.]
Don't you take it so to heart, my dear!
[A silence.]
COLONEL. [Shaking his head.] I couldn't have believed Molly would forget that child.
MISS BEECH. [Sadly.] They must go their own ways, poor things! She can't put herself in the child's place, and the child can't put herself in Molly's. A woman and a girl--there's the tree of life between them!
COLONEL. [Staring into the tree to see indeed if that were the tree alluded to.] It's a grief to me, Peachey, it's a grief! [He sinks into a chair, stroking his long moustaches. Then to avenge his hurt.] Shan't tell Nell--dashed if I do anything to make the trouble worse!
MISS BEECH. [Nodding.] There's suffering enough, without adding to it with our trumpery judgments! If only things would last between them!
COLONEL. [Fiercely.] Last! By George, they'd better----
[He stops, and looking up with a queer sorry look.]
I say, Peachey Life's very funny!
MISS BEECH. Men and women are! [Touching his forehead tenderly.] There, there--take care of your poor, dear head! Tsst! The blessed innocents!
[She pulls the COLONEL'S sleeve. They slip away towards the house, as JOY and DICK come back. They are still linked together, and stop by the hollow tree.]
JOY. [In a whisper.] Dick, is love always like this?
DICK. [Putting his arms around her, with conviction.) It's never been like this before. It's you and me!
[He kisses her on the lips.]
The curtain falls.
End
MISS BEECH. [Sharply.] Can you? You're very clever.
COLONEL. Wonderful, that moon! I'm going to have a look at her! Splendid glasses these, Peachy [he screws them out], not a better pair in England. I remember in Burmah with these glasses I used to be able to tell a man from a woman at two miles and a quarter. And that's no joke, I can tell you. [But on his way to the moon, he has taken a survey of the earth to the right along the river. In a low but excited voice] I say, I say--is it one of the maids--the baggage! Why! It's Dick! By George, she's got her hair down, Peachey! It's Joy!
[MISS BEECH goes to look. He makes as though to hand the glasses to her, but puts them to his own eyes instead-- excitedly.]
It is! What about her headache? By George, they're kissing. I say, Peachey! I shall have to tell Nell!]
MISS BEECH. Are you sure they're kissing? Well, that's some comfort.
COLONEL. They're at the stile now. Oughtn't I to stop them, eh? [He stands on tiptoe.] We must n't spy on them, dash it all. [He drops the glasses.) They're out of sight now.
MISS BEECH. [To herself.] He said he wouldn't let her.
COLONEL. What! have you been encouraging them!
MISS BEECH. Don't be in such a hurry!
[She moves towards the hollow tree.]
COLONEL. [Abstractedly.] By George, Peachey, to think that Nell and I were once--Poor Nell! I remember just such a night as this
[He stops, and stares before him, sighing.]
MISS BEECH, [Impressively.] It's a comfort she's got that good young man. She's found out that her mother and this Mr. Lever are--you know.
COLONEL. [Losing all traces of his fussiness, and drawing himself up as though he were on parade.] You tell me that my niece?
MISS BEECH. Out of her own mouth!
COLONEL. [Bowing his head.] I never would have believed she'd have forgotten herself.
MISS BEECH. [Very solemnly.] Ah, my dear! We're all the same; we're all as hollow as that tree! When it's ourselves it's always a special case!
[The COLONEL makes a movement of distress, and Miss BEECH goes to him.]
Don't you take it so to heart, my dear!
[A silence.]
COLONEL. [Shaking his head.] I couldn't have believed Molly would forget that child.
MISS BEECH. [Sadly.] They must go their own ways, poor things! She can't put herself in the child's place, and the child can't put herself in Molly's. A woman and a girl--there's the tree of life between them!
COLONEL. [Staring into the tree to see indeed if that were the tree alluded to.] It's a grief to me, Peachey, it's a grief! [He sinks into a chair, stroking his long moustaches. Then to avenge his hurt.] Shan't tell Nell--dashed if I do anything to make the trouble worse!
MISS BEECH. [Nodding.] There's suffering enough, without adding to it with our trumpery judgments! If only things would last between them!
COLONEL. [Fiercely.] Last! By George, they'd better----
[He stops, and looking up with a queer sorry look.]
I say, Peachey Life's very funny!
MISS BEECH. Men and women are! [Touching his forehead tenderly.] There, there--take care of your poor, dear head! Tsst! The blessed innocents!
[She pulls the COLONEL'S sleeve. They slip away towards the house, as JOY and DICK come back. They are still linked together, and stop by the hollow tree.]
JOY. [In a whisper.] Dick, is love always like this?
DICK. [Putting his arms around her, with conviction.) It's never been like this before. It's you and me!
[He kisses her on the lips.]
The curtain falls.
End