J.R. Ward the Black Dagger Brotherhood Novels 1-4 - J. R. Ward [233]
And his kindness was a temptation she shrank from.
She could not rely on him for comfort, not even in this moment. Her life depended on her keeping it together, and there was a slippery slope to tears. If she started crying now, she wasn’t going to stop in the days and weeks ahead. God knew, the hard inner core of her had been the only thing that had gotten her through the last time she’d been sick. If she lost that resolve, she had no power whatsoever against the disease.
Mary wiped her eyes.
Not again, she thought. She would not lose it in front of him again.
Clearing her throat, she tried to smile. “So. How’s that for a buzz kill?”
He said something in the other language and then shook his head and switched into English. “You cry all you want.”
“I don’t want to cry.” She looked at his bare chest.
No, what she wanted right now was to have sex with him. With the weeping jag finished, her body was responding to his again. And given that he’d seen the worst of her scars and didn’t seem turned off, she felt more comfortable.
“Any chance you still want to kiss me after all that?” she asked.
“Yes.”
Without allowing herself to think, she grabbed onto his shoulders and pulled him down to her mouth. He held back for a moment, as if surprised by her strength, but then he kissed her deep and long, as if he understood what she needed from him. In a matter of moments he had her totally naked, pajama bottoms gone, socks gone, panties tossed aside.
He stroked her from head to thigh with his hands, and she moved with him, surging, arching, feeling the bare skin of his chest against her breasts and stomach while the smooth fabric of his expensive pants rubbed like body oil over her legs. She was aching and light-headed as he nuzzled her neck and nibbled on her collarbone, working his way down to her breasts. She lifted her head and watched as his tongue came out and ran a circle around one nipple before he took it into his mouth. As he suckled her, his hand slid up her inner thigh.
And then he was touching her core. She heaved under him, breath shooting out of her lungs in a rush.
He groaned, his chest vibrating against hers as he made the sound.
“Sweet Mary, you’re just as I imagined. Soft…drenched.” His voice was rough, hard, giving her an idea how much control he was using to keep himself in lockdown. “Open your legs wider for me. A little more. That’s it, Mary. That’s so…oh, yeah.”
He slipped a finger and then two inside of her.
It had been a long time, but her body knew where it was headed. Panting, holding onto his shoulders with her nails, Mary watched him lick her breast as he moved his hand in and out of her body, his thumb rubbing in just the right place on the downstroke. In a flash of lightning she exploded, the force of the release pitching her headlong into a void where only pulsing and white heat existed.
When she came back down, Rhage’s heavy-lidded eyes were grave, his face tight and dark. He was like a total stranger, utterly removed from her.
She reached for the throw blanket to cover up with, figuring the shirt wouldn’t do but half the job. The movement made her aware that his fingers still penetrated her.
“You are so beautiful,” he said gruffly.
The B-word made her feel even more uncomfortable. “Let me up.”
“Mary—”
“This is just too awkward.” She struggled, and the shifting of her body only made her feel more of him.
“Mary, look at me.”
She glared at him, frustrated.
In slow motion, he withdrew his hand from between her legs and brought the two glistening fingers to his mouth. His lips parted, and in a savoring draw he sucked off her slick passion. When he swallowed, he closed his glowing eyes.
“You’re unbelievably beautiful.”
Her breath froze. And then redoubled as he moved down her body, putting