J.R. Ward the Black Dagger Brotherhood Novels 1-4 - J. R. Ward [418]
To keep his family safe and never lacking for anything, he worked at despicable things. But he was good at what he did, and his mother and his sister deserved the kind of life they had. He would give them anything they wanted, fulfill any whim they had. Things had been too hard on them for too long….
Yeah, the death of his father had been the first gift he’d given them, the first of many ways he’d improved their lives and kept them out of harm’s way. And he wasn’t stopping the trend now.
Rehv was going at a clip and heading for downtown when the base of his skull began to tingle. He tried to ignore the sensation, but in a matter of moments it condensed into a tight grip, as if a vise had been clamped around the top of his spine. He lifted his foot from the accelerator and waited for the feeling to pass.
Then it happened.
With a stab of pain his vision went to shades of red, like he’d pulled a transparent veil over his face: The headlights of oncoming cars were neon pink, the road a dull rust, the sky a claret like burgundy wine. He checked the clock on the dash, the numbers of which were now a ruby glow.
Shit. This was all wrong. This shouldn’t be hap—
He blinked and rubbed his eyes. When he opened them again, his depth perception was gone.
Yeah, the hell this isn’t happening. And he wasn’t going to make it downtown.
He wrenched the wheel to the right and pulled over into a strip mall, the one where the Caldwell Martial Arts Academy had been before it burned down. He killed the Bentley’s lights and drove behind the long, narrow buildings, parking flush with the bricks so that if he had to drive off fast, all he had to do was hit the gas.
Leaving the engine running, he shrugged out of the sable coat, stripped off his suit jacket, then rolled up his left sleeve. Through the red haze, he reached into his glove compartment and took out a hypodermic syringe and a length of rubber tubing. His hands were shaking so badly he dropped the needle and had to stretch down and pick it up off the floor.
He patted his jacket pockets until he found the glass vial of the neuromodulator dopamine. He put the thing on the dash.
It took two tries to open the hypodermic’s sterile packet, and then he nearly broke the needle off getting it through the rubber top on the dopamine lid. When the syringe was loaded, he wrapped the rubber tubing around his biceps using one hand and his teeth; then he tried to find a vein. Because he was working in a flat visual field, everything was complicated.
He just couldn’t see well enough. All he had in front of him was…red.
Red…red…red… The word shot around his mind, banging on the inside of his skull. Red was the color of panic. Red was the color of desperation. Red was the color of his self-hatred.
Red was not the color of his blood. Not right now, at any rate.
Snapping himself to attention, he fingered his forearm and looked for an internal launching pad for the drug, a superhighway that would bring the shit up to the receptors in his brain. Except his veins were collapsing.
He felt nothing as he pushed the needle in, which was reassuring. But then it came…a little sting at the injection site. The numbness he preserved himself in was about to end.
As he hunted around under his skin for a usable vein, he started to feel things in his body: The sensation of his weight in the car’s leather seat. The heat blowing on his ankles. The fast air moving in and out of his mouth, drying his tongue.
Terror had him shoving the plunger down and releasing the rubber tourniquet. God only knew if he’d had the right place.
Heart pounding, he stared at the clock.
“Come on,” he muttered, starting to rock in the driver’s seat. “Come on…kick in.”
Red was the color of his lies. He was trapped in a world of red. And one of these days the dopamine wasn’t going to work. He’d be lost in the red forever.
The clock changed numbers. One minute passed.
“Oh, shit…” He rubbed his eyes as if that might bring back the