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There was a hesitation. “Ask him about his relationships with females. You’ll understand.”

“Has he been in love often?” She braced herself for the answer.

“Absolutely, positively no.” Bella’s hand went round and round her belly. “This isn’t any of my business, but I’m going to say it anyway. Save my hellren, there isn’t a male I hold in higher esteem than Phury, and I like you a lot. If he continues to stay here, I hope you do, too. I like the way you look at him. And I really like the way he looks at you.”

“He’s passed me over.”

Bella’s head came up. “What?”

“I am no longer the First Mate.”

“God . . . damn.”

“So I really should go back to the Sanctuary. If only to make things easier on whomever he chooses to replace me.”

It was the right thing to say, but she didn’t really believe it. And her feelings showed in her voice. Even she could hear the strain.

Funny, the practice of saying one thing while keeping what she truly thought to herself was a skill she’d honed over the span of her life on the Other Side. When she’d been over there, lying had been as easy and comfortable as the white robe she wore and the proscribed way she did her hair and the rote recitation of ceremonial text.

Now it was hard.

“No offense,” Bella said, “but my bullshit meter is going off.”

“Bullshit . . . meter?”

“You’re lying to me. Look, may I offer you some unsolicited advice?”

“Of course.”

“Don’t allow yourself to get swallowed up and lost in this Chosen thing. If you truly believe what you’ve been taught, then that’s fine. But if you find yourself fighting an inner voice in your head all the time, then it’s not where you’re supposed to be. Being a good liar is not a virtue.”

That was it, wasn’t it, Cormia thought. That was precisely what she had always had to do. Lie.

Bella shifted on the pillows, pulling herself up. “I don’t know how much you’ve heard about me, but I have a brother. Rehvenge. He’s a hardheaded handful, always has been, but I love him and we’re very close. My father died when I was four, and Rehv stepped in as head of the household for my mother and me. Rehv took great care of us, but he also was controlling as hell, and eventually I moved out of the family house. I had to. . . . He was driving me nuts. Jesus, you should have heard the fighting. Rehv meant well, but he’s old-school, very traditional, and that meant he wanted to make all the decisions.”

“He sounds like a male of worth, though.”

“Oh, he absolutely is. But the thing was, after twenty-five years under him, I was just his sister, not me, if that makes any sense.” Bella reached out and took Cormia’s hand. “The best thing I ever did for myself was get away and get to know myself.” A haunted light came into her eyes. “It was not easy, and there were . . . consequences. But even with what I had to go through, I highly recommend figuring out who you are. I mean, do you know who you are as a person?”

“I am a Chosen.”

“And what else.”

“That’s . . . all.”

Bella’s hand gave a squeeze. “Give you some thought, Cormia, and start small. What’s your favorite color? What do you like to eat? Are you an early riser? What makes you happy? Sad?”

Cormia looked across the room at the incense burner and thought about all the prayers she knew, prayers that covered for every eventuality. And the chants. And the ceremonies. She had a whole spiritual vocabulary at her disposal, not just of words but of actions.

And that was about it. Or was it?

She shifted her eyes to meet Bella’s. “I know . . . I like lavender tea roses. And I like to build things in my head.”

Bella smiled and then hid a yawn with the back of her hand. “That, my friend, is a good start. Now, you want to finish Project Runway? With the TV on, you’ll feel less awkward about being in your head while you’re with me, and Fritz won’t be here with dinner for another twenty minutes.”

Cormia eased back into the pillows beside her . . . friend. Not her sister, her . . . friend. “Thank you, Bella. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. And I love the incense. Very calming.”

Bella pointed the remote at the flat screen