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I’m going to pick you up now, he signed while mouthing the words.

Her eyes locked on his and then she nodded and tried to sit up. As she struggled, he bent down and scooped her into his arms.

She didn’t weigh enough.

When he straightened, Doc Jane quickly flipped the covers on the bed into a fold and motioned toward the door.

The stiffness in Xhex’s body was costing her energy and he wanted to tell her to relax, but even if he’d had a voice, that would have been a waste. She wasn’t the kind to be carried under any circumstances, by anyone.

At least . . . normally.

The corridor seemed twelve miles long, and outside, the three yards that it took for him to cross the sidewalk to the SUV was twice that far.

V hopped out from behind the wheel and opened the rear door. “She can stretch out here. I put down blankets before I left.”

John nodded and went to lay her on the soft nest that had been made.

Her hand reached up and locked onto his shoulder. “Stay with me. Please.”

He froze for a split second . . . and then with brute strength, he stepped up and in while keeping his hold on her. Settling in was awkward . . . but eventually he got them situated against the wall of the car’s interior with his legs bent at the knees and her in his lap, cradled against his chest.

The doors were shut and then there were two more thunches and a roar of the engine.

Through the darkened windows, lights flared and receded as they sped out of town.

As Xhex started to shiver, he wrapped his arms more tightly around her, keeping her flush against his body and willing his warmth to go into her. And maybe it worked, because after a moment, she laid her head against his pec and the trembling eased off.

God . . . he had wanted her in his arms for so long. Had imagined it and envisioned scenarios where it happened.

This was so not it.

He inhaled deeply, intending to let out a sigh . . . and caught the scent he was throwing off. Dark spices. The kind he smelled on the Brothers when their shellans were around. The kind that meant his body was weighing in on his emotions and there was no going back.

Damn him to hell, there was no hiding the bonding and no stopping it. All along, since he’d first met her, he’d been inching closer and closer to that cliff, and clearly he’d pitched over the side of it when she’d fed from him.

“John?” she whispered.

He tapped lightly on her shoulder so she knew he’d heard her.

“Thank you.”

He put his cheek down on her hair and nodded his head so she could feel it.

When she pulled herself out from under, he wasn’t surprised—at least not until he realized that she wanted to look up at him.

Oh, Jesus, he hated the expression on her gaunt face. She was afraid to the point of terror, her deep gray eyes the color of flat asphalt.

You’re okay, he mouthed. You’re going to be okay.

“Am I.” Her eyes squeezed shut. “Am I really.”

If he had anything to do with it, shit, yeah.

Her lids popped open again. “I’m so sorry,” she said hoarsely.

What for?

“Everything. Treating you like I did. Being who I am. You deserve so much better. I’m . . . really sorry.”

Her voice cracked at the end and as she started to blink, she laid her head back down and put her palm right on his beating heart.

It was moments like this when he desperately wished he could speak. After all, it wasn’t like he was going to shuffle her around so he could get to his frickin’ pad of paper.

In the end, he just held her with care because that was all he had to offer.

And he wasn’t mistaking this exchange for what it wasn’t. An apology wasn’t a declaration of love and it wasn’t even necessary, because he’d all but forgiven her anyway. Yet it helped him, somehow. It was still a far distance from the way he’d hoped things would have gone between them, but it was a damn lot better than nothing.

John tugged the sheet up higher on her shoulder, then let his head fall back. Staring out of the darkened window, his eyes searched the stars that dotted the dense, velvety black of the night sky.

Funny, felt