Junie B., First Grader_ Aloha-Ha-Ha! - Barbara Park [11]
After that, we walked back to the car.
My camera was in the backseat.
“Phooey. I still have to take a dumb snorkel picture for my assignment,” I said. “I thought today's picture would be cute. But these photos just keep getting stupider and stupider.”
I handed Mother the camera.
Then both of us walked back to the sand to take another dumb picture.
She blew a little bit of air in Squeezer to make him look more lively.
Then I posed as good as I could.
And click-click.
I closed my journal. And I did a huff.
“This stupid dumb bus trip is taking forever,” I grumped.
Mother and Daddy rolled their eyes.
’Cause we hadn't actually left the parking lot yet.
I kept on grumping.
Then finally, finally, finally … the bus door closed. And we started to go.
A man in the front seat picked up a microphone.
“ALOOOOHAAAA!” he hollered.
All of the bus people sat there real silent.
Then a few of them said aloha back at him … only way quieter.
The man laughed. “Oh, come on. You can do better than that!”
“ALOOOOHAAAA!” he hollered again.
And so this time more people said it. But they still weren't loud enough for him, I guess. Because we went through that same nonsense five more times.
I tapped on Mother. “This guy is getting on my nerves,” I said.
“Shh,” she said back.
I looked at Squeezer. “Being shushed is getting on my nerves, too,” I said.
The man kept talking.
He said his name is Donald. And he will be our nature guide today.
I did a sigh.
“Little children do not like nature,” I said.
Donald kept on blabbing. He said we were on our way to a beautiful rain forest. And we will see some of the most spectacular scenery in the world.
I covered my face.
“Little children hate spectacular scenery,” I said.
Donald went on. He said we will see gorgeous flowers and magnificent trees and beautiful birds of all colors.
I did a loud groan.
“Can this situation get any boringer?” I said.
An old man in front of me heard me say that.
He peeked his head over the seat real friendly.
He said his name was Harold. And he was “eighty-eight years young.”
“When you get to be my age, spectacular scenery is as exciting as it gets,” he said.
I sighed again. “That's not much to look forward to, Harold,” I said.
Daddy quick leaned over. And he told me to please find something to do.
Then he gave me my camera. And he said to take a picture of the people on the bus.
I waited till we stopped at a light. Then I stood in the aisle. And I took a picture.
Click-click.
I sat back down.
“That picture will go nicely with my other embarrassing photo-journal pictures,” I said. “Room One is going to laugh me right out of Show-and-Tell.”
After that, Mother snatched my camera away. And she said maybe I needed a nap.
I covered my ears.
“Yeah, only how can I even sleep with all of Donald's yakking going on?” I said.
That man would not stop, I tell you.
He told us the names of a million jillion Hawaii birds and a million jillion Hawaii flowers. Plus also, he talked about pineapples, and coconuts, and bananas, and papayas.
Then Donald took a big breath. And he started talking about tuna fish!
I threw my hands in the air.
“FOR THE LOVE OF PETE! SOMEONE TAKE HIS MICROPHONE AWAY!” I hollered.
Mother did a gasp at that comment.
Daddy did a gasp, too.
I quick covered my mouth. But it was too late. All the bus people were stretching their necks to look at me.
“Junie B.! What on earth has gotten into you today?” asked Mother.
I slumped way down.
“Sorry, Mother. Sorry. But I've got stress in my head. ’Cause I really need an exciting picture for my photo journal. Only what kind of exciting picture can you get on a stupid dumb nature walk with old people?”
I stopped and looked over the seat.
“No offense, Harold,” I said.
“None taken,” he said back.
“It's just that I'm running out of time,” I explained.
“Aren't we all,” said Harold.
Mother sat me down again.
“Well, I can promise you one thing, Junie B.,” she said. “If you go on this hike with a bad attitude, nothing good will happen. But if you keep an