Junie B., First Grader_ Aloha-Ha-Ha! - Barbara Park [5]
The lady said this was not a joke, little miss.
I stopped clapping.
The airport does not have a good sense of humor.
After we got to our plane gate, we waited and waited some more.
Then at last! A man said it was time for us to board the airplane!
Board the airplane is the airport word for What do you know? Another dumb-bunny line!
Only good news!
This time, we were near the front! And so finally, finally, finally … we got to our seats!
“I GET THE WINDOW SEAT! I GET THE WINDOW SEAT!” I called real loud.
Then I ran there speedy quick. And I sat right down.
There was a teensy little shade on the window!
I pushed it up and pulled it down.
It was a little bit stuckish.
That's how come I kept pushing and pulling and pushing and pulling until it loosened up.
Pretty soon, I tapped on Mother and Daddy.
“Watch me, okay? Watch me work the window shade!” I said.
I took a big breath and started right in.
“Up and down! Up and down! Up and down!” I said.
I stopped and breathed again.
Then I speeded up a little bit.
“Upanddown upanddown, upanddown upanddown upand—”
Just then, Mother reached out her hand. And she stopped my progress.
“Okay, good … fine. Excellent shade work. Thank you very much,” she said.
Then she buckled my seat belt.
I stretched out my legs as long as they would go.
And guess what?
They reached all the way to the seat in front of me!
“Whoa! My legs are as tall as a giant!” I said.
I flattened my feet against the seat. And I pushed and stretched some more.
Then, all of a sudden, the lady in front of me popped up like a jumping jack! And she spun around real angry.
“Would you please stop kicking my seat?” she grouched. “I don't like having my seat kicked.”
Mother quick took my legs down.
“Oh my. Sorry,” she said. “It's her first plane trip.”
I looked at Mother very curious.
“But I wasn't even kicking her seat,” I said. “My legs were just being tall.”
The lady made a harrumph sound. And she turned around again.
After that, I stayed real still. And I didn't move my muscles.
Only wait a second! Hold the phone!
Just then, I spotted the cutest thing I ever saw!
And it's called, Hey! There's a little tray on the back of the grouchy lady's seat! And it's folded up real flat!
I leaned up and opened it. “Ha! What will they think of next?” I said.
I practiced folding it in and out.
“Watch me, Mother! Watch me, Daddy!” I said.
I stood up tall to demonstrate.
“In and out … in and out … in and out … in and—”
BAM!
The grouchy lady popped up again.
“What in heaven's name are you doing now?” she grouched.
I did a gulp.
“I'm demonstrating my tray table,” I said.
Mother's face looked embarrassed.
She said she is sorry again.
The lady did a snort and turned back around.
“Please, Junie B.,” said Mother. “Behave yourself. Do not touch that lady's seat one more time.”
I slumped way down in my seat.
Then I reached into my backpack. And I pulled out Philip Johnny Bob. And I whispered in his softie ear.
“Do not touch that seat right there. Or a grouchy lady will snap your trunk off,” I said.
Philip raised his eyebrows.
I can't touch it? he asked. Not even with my little pinkie toe?
I thought for a second.
“Well, okay. I guess you can touch it with your little pinkie toe. But that's all,” I said.
And so very careful, Philip reached out.
And he touched the lady's seat with his pinkie toe.
And ha!
She didn't feel a thing!
Me and Philip laughed and laughed at that funny joke.
Then pretty soon, he tapped on his chin. And he looked curious at me again.
Hmm. I wonder if there's a grouchy lady behind us, too? he asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don't know, Phil. Why don't you take a peek?” I said.
And so Philip Johnny Bob turned around. And he tried to peek through the seat crack. But he couldn't get a good look.
So finally, I had to lift him way up to the top of my seat. And I let him stare back there for a while.
Only, bad news. It didn't actually work out that good. On account of we forgot that Phil's eyes are buttons. And buttons do not have good