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Mother and Daddy looked suspicious at me.

’Cause that was a fib, of course.

“But you don't even need a swim ring, Junie B.,” said Daddy. “You learned how to swim two years ago.”

“Exactly,” said Mother. “Plus this swim ring is way too small for you, honey. It's meant for children much younger than you are.”

I jumped up and down some more.

“But I know I can fit in this thing, Mother. I just know I can! I am thin as a noodle!”

I folded my hands real begging.

“Please, can I have it? Please, please, please?”

Daddy ran his fingers through his hair.

That is a good sign, usually.

Then finally, he took my parrot swim ring. And he gave the gift lady some money.

I hugged and hugged him very happy.

“Thank you, Daddy! Thank you! Thank you! You are the nicest daddy in the whole entire world!”

After that, I skipped to the pool with my parrot swim ring. And I tried to put it on. But it was way too tight to fit.

Daddy watched what I was doing.

“It looks like your mother was right, Junie B.,” he said. “That swim ring is much too small.”

“No, it isn't, Daddy. I know I can fit into this parrot,” I said. “I am positive I can.”

I thought for a second.

Then I walked to the edge of the pool. And I dropped my swim ring in the water.

And KERSPLASH!

I jumped through the middle!

And what do you know?

I squeezed right in!

I clapped and clapped real thrilled.

“SEE, MOTHER? SEE, DADDY?” I called. “I TOLD YOU I COULD FIT IN THIS THING! I TOLD YOU!”

I took a breath.

“IT'S JUST A LITTLE BIT TIGHTISH AROUND MY MIDDLE. BUT I THINK I CAN STILL BREATHE … POSSIBLY.”

I pushed away from the edge. And I kicked to the other side.

“DID YOU SEE ME SWIM OVER HERE, MOTHER? ARE YOU WATCHING ME, DADDY? THIS PARROT IS SPEEDY FAST!”

My stomach did a wince.

“ALSO, I AM IN SEVERE PAIN!” I shouted.

After that, I hurried up out of the pool. And I rushed to Mother speedy quick.

“Please get this off of me, right exactly now! ’Cause this thing is squeezing my insides in half!” I said.

And so she and Daddy tried to wiggle it off of me. But the parrot didn't budge itself.

I sucked in my tummy as skinny as it would go.

Then all of us pushed and pulled. And yanked and tugged. And twisted and stretched. Plus also, I jumped up and down.

After that, I panicked and shouted.

“I'M STUCK IN MY PARROT! I'M STUCK IN MY PARROT! 911! I'M STUCK IN MY PARROT!”

Everyone turned around to look.

“Shh!” said Daddy. “Stop shouting!”

Then he quick found the air plug.

And he opened it up.

And WHOOSH!

My parrot's air came rushing out!

Soon my stomach could breathe again.

“AHHH … better,” I said. “Thank you, Daddy. Thank you.”

I waited till all the air was out. Then I headed back to the pool.

Mother snapped her fingers at me.

“Whoa, wait a minute. You can't go in the pool like that, Junie B. We still need to get that swim ring off of you,” she said. “You stay here. And I'll go get my scissors.”

I raised up my eyebrows at that word.

“Scissors?” I said.

“Yes,” said Mother. “I can cut that swim ring off of you in no time.”

I let that information sink in.

Then, all of a sudden, my eyes got big and wide.

“NO, MOTHER! NO!” I shouted. “DON'T CUT MY PARROT OFF! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! IT DOESN'T EVEN HURT ANYMORE! I PROMISE! I PROMISE!”

Next to us, a grandpa did a frown. Plus his wife did a frown, too.

“For heaven's sake. What kind of mother would cut a little girl's parrot?” said the grandpa.

“I don't know, Ed,” said the grandma. “But it sure don't seem right.”

Mother stood there kind of frozen.

Then she and Daddy picked up our pool towels. And we moved to different lounge chairs.

After that, Mother sat back down again. And she said she wouldn't get the scissors.

“Yay!” I said. “Yay! Yay!”

Then I jumped in the water. And I started to paddle.

“Look, Mother! Look! I'm still wearing my parrot! And it's not even squeezing my stomach!” I shouted. “Flatso parrots are perfectly comfortable.”

I swam underwater to the end of the pool.

“THIS PARROT IS WORKING OUT BEAUTIFULLY!” I called again.

The grandma started