Junie B., First Grader - Barbara Park [6]
Mrs. Weller said I need glasses.
I do not like Mrs. Weller.
The nurse called Mother at her work.
She tattletaled about the glasses.
Then Mother tattletaled to Daddy. And those two would not let the matter drop.
They talked about glasses all during dinner that entire night.
I couldn't even digest my food that good. Because they kept talking about those stupid, dumb glasses.
“Sooner or later, almost everyone ends up wearing glasses, Junie B.,” said Daddy. “Really. They do.”
I put my chin in my hands real glum.
“Really. They don't,” I grumped.
“Daddy's telling you the truth, Junie B.,” said Mother. “And besides, you're going to look absolutely adorable in glasses.”
“No, I am absolutely not,” I grumped again.
“Sure you are,” said Daddy. “And just think how great it will be to see the words on the board.”
I covered my ears.
“Not great, not great, not great,” I said.
Mother took my hands away.
“Listen to me, honey. Please,” she said. “Glasses are like magic windows for the eyes. When you put them on … poof! … the whole world becomes crystal clear.”
I did a huffy breath.
“Poof, yourself,” I grumped.
After that, Mother picked me up.
And she carried me to my room.
’Cause that was one grump too many.
The next morning, Daddy took me to the eye doctor.
The eye doctor did lots more eye tests with me. They were sort of fun. Only I didn't tell Daddy.
Also, the doctor put drops in my eyes. Drops make your eyeballs get biggish and darkish.
Eyeballs look very attractive that way.
After the eye doctor, I went home till my drops wore off.
Then Daddy drove me to school.
And guess what?
All of the children stared at me when I came in the room.
’Cause I was a late kid, that's why.
I walked to my desk kind of shy.
Herb's face smiled when he saw me.
“Junie B. Jones! Where were you?” he said. “I saved your seat on the bus. But you never came.”
“We were afraid you might be sick,” said José.
“Yeah,” said Lennie. “You're not, are you?”
“I certainly hope she's not sick,” said May. “You shouldn't come to school sick, Junie Jones. Coming to school sick is how germs get started.”
I sucked in my cheeks at that girl.
“I'm not sick, May. I'm just late, and that's all.”
May made a grouchy face.
“Well, being late isn't good, either,” she said. “Being late gets you a black mark on your permanent record.”
I covered up my ears at her.
“Blah, blah, blah, May,” I said.
Herb and Lennie and José laughed out loud.
Those guys are starting to enjoy me, I think.
Pretty soon, I took out my workbook. And I tried to do my math.
Only too bad for me. ’Cause I kept on worrying about my new glasses.
What if I look dumb and silly in those things? I thought. What if Room One laughs their head off at me? What if I look like a goonie bird and no one wants to be my friend?
The worrying would not go out of my head.
Maybe I needed to talk to someone about this, possibly.
Finally, I reached out and I tapped on Herb.
“Psst. Herbert,” I whispered real soft. “I have something I need to tell you. Only I am really afraid to say it. ’Cause what if you laugh at me? Only you probably won't. But I still don't think I should take the chance. And so please do not ask me more about this. And I mean it.”
After that, I waited and waited.
But Herb did not ask me.
I tapped on him again.
“Okay. Fine. I'll give you a hint,” I said. “But first you're going to have to turn around and sneak a peek at me.”
Herb turned around and sneaked a peek.
I quick made round circles with my fingers. And I held them in front of my eyes.
“Okay, what am I doing here, Herb?” I whispered again. “Huh? What does this look like to you? I'm making round circles in front of my eyes, see? What do you think they are?”
May leaned over to my desk.
“Shush!” she said. “Stop bothering Herb, Junie Jones! If you don't shush right now, I'm going to tell the teacher.”
Suddenly, I jumped right up from my chair.
’Cause I had it with that girl, that's why!
“NO! YOU SHUSH, YOU SHUSHY-HEAD MAY!” I said. “I AM NOT EVEN BOTHERING HERBERT! I AM GIVING HIM A HINT