Junie B., First Grader_ Shipwrecked - Barbara Park [1]
“Wait! Hold it! My mother's birthday is on Sunday!” he said. “And so that's what I'll get her! I'll get her a tub of that magic powder! What's the name of it, Mr. Vallony? Huh? What's it called? What's it called?”
Gus Vallony's face went kind of funny. He glanced his eyes at Mr. Scary, and then back at Herbert again.
Finally, he ran his fingers through his bald hair. And he said the name of it.
“Vomit absorbent,” he said kind of quiet. “It's called vomit absorbent.”
At first, Herbert just stood at his desk very frozen. He did not say any words.
Then, after a minute, he did a little shiver. And he sat back down.
“Maybe I'll just draw her a picture,” he said.
Gus Vallony nodded.
Then he packed up his stuff. And he waved goodbye to Room One. And Mr. Scary walked him into the hall.
While he was gone, Sheldon put his lunch sack on his head.
As soon as Mr. Scary saw it, he tried to take it off.
But Sheldon held on tight.
“No … don't! I need this!” he said. “If I stay in here, I won't catch Roger's germs.”
I raised my eyebrows at that remark.
“Yeah, only I don't get it, Sheldon,” I said. “How can you catch Roger's germs? ’Cause Gus Vallony just sweeped them up in his bucket, remember?”
Sheldon talked to me through his bag.
“Roger's germs aren't just in the bucket, Junie B.,” he said. “Whenever somebody throws up, their germs shoot out in the air all over the place. Then, if somebody else breathes that same air, those germs can get sucked right up their nose nostrils.”
I did a little cringe at that information.
Then I looked all around in the air.
And—very slow—I lifted my hand. And I closed my nose nostrils.
Room One watched me.
Then—one by one—they closed their nose nostrils, too.
And so all of us held our noses tight with our fingers.
And we didn't breathe for the whole rest of the morning.
It is not easy to hold your nose and eat a sandwich.
You cannot swallow good like that.
Also, you can't actually breathe.
The reason I know this is because Room One kept on holding our noses while we ate lunch.
My ears felt blocked when I chewed.
I tapped on my friend Herbert.
“I am not enjoying my cheese sandwich today,” I said.
“Me too,” said Herb. “I am not enjoying my sandwich, too. Plus I don't even know what I'm eating. ’Cause I can't taste what's under my lettuce.”
I thought for a minute.
Then I tapped on him again.
“Yeah, only what if you're eating something you hate?” I said.
Herb thought, too.
Then he quick put down his sandwich. And he lifted up the bread so both of us could see.
We leaned our heads in real close.
Lennie and José leaned their heads in, too.
“Hmm,” said José. “This is only a guess … but I'm thinking tuna salad.”
Lennie shook his head. “I'm thinking ham spread.”
Herb made a face.
“I'm thinking I'm done,” he said.
After that, he got out his apple. And he tried to take a bite. Only he couldn't actually get it in his mouth. On account of he was still holding his nostrils.
Finally, Herbert got frustration in him.
“I give up,” he grouched.
Then he let go of his nose. And he breathed in a big sniff of air.
“Mmm … ahhh … air,” he said.
It looked good to do that.
I let go of my nostrils and breathed, too.
“Mmm … ahhh … air,” I said.
Next to me, May's whole mouth came open. She did the cuckoo sign at us.
“You two are crazy to do that,” she said. “Dirty, nasty germs are getting sucked right up your nose this very minute, I bet.”
I looked surprised at that news.
“Really, May?” I said. “Thank you for telling me that.”
Then I leaned over next to her. And I breathed out my nose air on her shoulder.
“There. All gone,” I said.
May did a gasp.
“EW! EW! EW!” she hollered real loud.
Then she jumped right up. And she tattletaled to Mr. Scary at the front of the table.
“Mr. Scary! Mr. Scary! Junie Jones breathed nose air on my shoulder! And now I've got germs on me!” she yelled.
Mr. Scary kept on eating his lunch.
He was pretending May was not there, I believe.
May kept on tapping on his arm. And she wiped her shoulder.
“Nose air! Nose air! Nose air!