Junie B. Jones and That Meanie Jim's Birthday - Barbara Park [6]
“Thank you. You look very precious today, too,” she said back.
I touched her fingernails with polish on them.
“I wish you and me could be twins,” I said.
“Me, too. I wish you and me could be twins, too,” she said.
Just then, my whole face got happy.
“Lucille! Lucille! I just thought of something! You and me can pretend we are twins! And we can do everything just the same! And so on Saturday you can come to my house. And I will put nail polish on my nails, just like you! And you will stay home from that birthday party, just like me!”
Lucille didn’t say anything back.
I tapped on her.
“How come you’re not talking, twin?” I said. “How come you’re not saying anything back?”
“’Cause I want to go to the party, that’s why,” said Lucille.
I did a huffy breath at her.
“Yes, Lucille. I know you want to go to the party. But now you and me are twins. And twins have to do everything just the same. And so if I don’t go to the party, then you can’t go to the party, too. On account of that is the twin rules.”
“No, it’s not,” said Lucille. “My cousins are twins. And one is a boy. And one is a girl. And they don’t do anything alike.”
I jumped up from my chair.
“Yeah, only that is not the kind of twin I want to be, madam!” I yelled.
Mrs. snapped her loud fingers at me.
“Sit down!” she hollered.
Just then, that Jim I hate turned around in his chair. And he laughed real mean at me. ’Cause I was in trouble.
“Turn around your fatty head!” I said.
Only he didn’t turn it around. And so that’s how come I had to run to his table. And I had to turn it around for him.
“JUNIE B. JONES!” shouted Mrs. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
“I am turning around his fatty head,” I explained.
Mrs. hurried to where I was. Then she quick took my arm. And she marched me into the hall.
She pointed to Principal’s office.
“Go!” she said real angry.
I did a gulp.
“Yeah, only I’m not actually supposed to go there anymore,” I said. “’Cause me and Mother had a talk about it. And she said for me not to get sent there again.”
Mrs.’s face got red as a tomato.
She started counting numbers.
“One…two…three…four…”
And so that’s how come I hurried up and walked.
’Cause teachers who count numbers are the scariest kind there is.
7/My Story This Time by Junie B. Jones
Principal is the boss of the school.
He lives at the office.
I have to go there when I am unruly.
Unruly is the school word for not being ruly.
There is a typing lady there. She isn’t allowed to smile.
“Sit down,” she said.
She pointed at the blue chair.
“Yeah, only I don’t actually like to sit there, remember that? ’Cause that is where the bad kids sit. And I am not even bad,” I explained.
I explain that to her every time I go there.
The typing lady leaned over the counter at me. She made her face look scary at me.
“Sittttt dowwwwn,” she said.
I sat down.
Then I pulled my frog jumper over my face. So nobody could see me.
“Pull your skirt back down,” said the typing lady.
“Yeah, only I’m actually allowed to do this. ’Cause I have on tights,” I said. “See them? They are green with little tadpoles on them.”
Just then, I heard Principal’s voice.
“Well, well…Junie B. Jones. What a surprise,” he said.
My mouth dropped all the way opened.
“HEY!” I hollered from under my dress. “HOW DID YOU KNOW IT’S ME UNDER HERE? ’CAUSE YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE MY FACE!”
“Lucky guess,” said Principal.
After that, I uncovered my head. And me and him went in his office.
I climbed up in the big wood chair.
Principal looked very tiredish. He rubbed the sides of his baldie head.
“Okay, let’s hear it. What’s your story this time?” he said.
I sat up straight and tall.
“My Story This Time, by Junie B. Jones.
“Once upon a time, I didn’t get invited to a meanie boy’s birthday. And I am the only one in all of Room Nine who isn’t going. And so that’s how come I was moving today. Only Mother brought me to school very stiff. And then I was a buzzing bee. Only Crybaby William is a squealer. And Lucille won’t be a good twin. And so then Mrs. yelled at me. And that’s how come