Junie B. Jones and the Mushy Gushy Valentime - Barbara Park [6]
“It’s a cuckoo head boy, that’s who it is,” she said.
After that, she scooted her chair to the end of the table. And she turned her head away from me.
I did a mad breath at that girl.
“Keep acting like that, and you’ll be sweeping your own castle,” I said.
After that, I looked all around Room Nine.
And guess who I saw?
I saw Crybaby William, that’s who!
Crybaby William sits right behind me. And is the shyest guy I ever heard of. And so maybe he might be my secret admirer!
I spinned around in my chair and waved at him.
“Hello, shy boy,” I said real cute.
William looked nervous of me. “What do you want?” he said.
I wrinkled up my nose very darling.
“Yeah, only you don’t even have to be shy of me anymore, William. ’Cause I think I know your secret,” I said.
After that, I put my chin on his table. And I winked my eye at him. Only I’m not actually good at winking. And so I have to say the words.
“Wink, wink, William,” I said. “Wink, wink, wink. See my eye? See how it is trying to wink at you?”
William’s face started to sweat.
“Turn around, please,” he said.
I did a giggle. ’Cause that admirer boy was shyer than I thought.
“You are a silly sausage, William,” I said.
Then I tried to tickle him under his chin. But William swatted my hand away.
I tapped my fingers on the table.
“Okay. Here’s the thing, William. Swatting my hand is not actually that admiring. And so please do not do that again.”
After that, I tried to tickle his chin again. But this time, he ducked under the table.
I did a frown.
’Cause something did not seem right here.
Finally, I bended my head down and I peeked at him.
“I’m going to take a wild guess here, William. You’re not actually my secret admirer, are you?” I asked.
“No!” said William. “No, no, no!”
After that, I did a big sigh. And I turned my chair back to my own table.
I looked all around Room Nine again.
And guess what boy I saw next?
I saw Paulie Allen Puffer, that’s who! And he is always teasing me! And so maybe he is my secret admirer!
I zoomed to his table speedy fast.
“Wink, wink, Paulie Allen Puffer,” I said. “Wink, wink, wink.”
“What’s wrong with your eye?” he said.
I puckered up my lips. And I blowed that guy a kiss.
“Thank you for the beautiful valentime, Paul,” I said.
Paulie Allen Puffer looked strange at me.
“Paul? Who’s Paul? What beautiful valentine? My valentine was the one with the oozy slime monster on the front,” he said. “Don’t you remember it?”
Just then, I made a face. ’Cause I remembered it, of course.
I hurried up back to my seat again.
That’s when I saw a boy named Ham. And Ham hardly even knows me. And so he was worth a try, I think.
I quick went to his table.
“Okay, Ham. I’m running out of patience here. So listen very careful.”
I faced my eyeball at him.
“Wink, wink, okay? Now are you my secret admirer or not? And please tell me the truth. Or you will be sorry.”
Ham sticked out his tongue at me.
Also he put his thumbs in his ears. And he flapped his hands up and down.
“All rightie,” I said. “I’m going to take that as a no.”
After that, I went back to my table. And I sat down real fusstrated.
I put my head in my hands very glum.
’Cause guess what?
Finding a secret admirer is not as easy as it sounds.
8/Who Knew?
Pretty soon, the bell rang for recess.
I hurried over to my friend Grace. ’Cause maybe she would help me find my secret admirer.
Both of us skipped outside to the playground.
Then all of a sudden, I stopped real fast! ’Cause I accidentally left my beautiful valentime on the table! And I didn’t want anyone to take that lovely thing!
“Wait, Grace! Wait right here! I will be back in a jiffy!” I said.
After that, I ran my fastest back to Room Nine.
And guess what?
I spied that Meanie Jim at my table!
And he was picking up my beautiful card!
“HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, MISTER?” I yelled real loud.
Then I zoomed to my table zippedy quick. And I yanked that card right out of his mitts!
After that, I started running to the door. But Meanie Jim springed in front of me. And he held up his