Junie B. Jones and the Yucky Blucky Fruitcake - Barbara Park [6]
And I said the word of poop.
6/Bull’s-Eye
Carnival Night was being the worstest night of my life.
That’s because I kept on losing at every single game.
I lost at Penny Toss.
And I lost at Ring Toss.
And also I lost at the stupid Fishing Booth. Except all you have to do is hang a fishing pole over the table. And somebody puts a toy on your pole. Only I just got a stupid dumb comb on my pole and that’s all.
“Hey! What kind of stupid dumb prize is this?” I said. “A stupid dumb comb isn’t even a toy! ’Cause I can’t even play with this stupid dumb thing!”
Daddy sat me down on a bench.
Me and him had another talk. It was called—stop saying the words stupid and dumb. And also I have to appreciate my comb.
Just then, I heard a voice holler at me.
“JUNIE B. JONES! HEY! JUNIE B. JONES! I’VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER THE PLACE FOR YOU!”
I turned around.
It was my other bestest friend, that Grace. She was holding lots of stuff in her hands.
“Look, Junie B.! Look at all my prizes! I won a shiny plastic car, and some pretty barrettes, and a delicious red lollipop, and two rubber bugs, and an eraser that looks like a hot dog! See them? See all my good stuff?”
“Yeah? So?” I said.
That Grace did a frown at me. “How come you said yeah so? How come you’re grouchy at me, Junie B.? And why are you just sitting here on this bench?”
I did a mad breath. “I’m appreciating my comb, that’s why. Don’t you know anything, Grace?”
Just then, Daddy walked me away from that Grace. And he said I better shape up, little missy, or else we’re going home right now.
Mother told Daddy to calm down his blood pressure.
“We have three tickets left,” she said. “Let’s all take some deep breaths and start all over again. What do you think, Junie B.? Do you want to try the Sponge Throw? That sounds like fun, doesn’t it?”
Then Mother held my hand. And me and her went to find the Sponge Throw. And Daddy kept on doing deep breaths.
The Sponge Throw was right in the middle of the playground.
Principal was there.
He was standing behind a board with a big clown suit painted on the front of it. Only instead of a face, there was a round hole cut in the board. And Principal’s head was sticking out of it.
His face and hair were very drippity. That’s because kids kept on hitting him with sponges.
It looked like the funnest game I ever saw!
I hurried up and got in line.
Except for just then something very terrible happened. And its name is, that Jim I hate got in line right behind me.
“Boo!” he said.
“You did not scare me, Jim,” I said.
“Yes, I did too.”
“No, you did not.”
“Yes, I did too. And anyway, you shouldn’t even be in this line. ’Cause girls can’t throw sponges as good as boys,” he said.
“Yes, they can too!” I said. “’Cause I even practiced this game at my house. And I made a bull’s-eye right in my toilet pot. So there!”
That mean Jim laughed real loud.
“P.U.! JUNIE B. JONES PLAYS IN HER TOILET!” he hollered.
And so all the other kids started laughing, too.
Just then, the sponge lady tapped on me. She handed me two soaky wet sponges.
“Your turn, sister,” she said.
Only I just kept standing there and standing there. ’Cause all those meanie kids wouldn’t stop laughing.
“Guess what? I don’t even know if I can throw these things now. ’Cause all that laughing is ruining my self-steam,” I said.
“Sorry, sis. Either throw the sponges or get out of line,” the lady told me.
And so finally I took a big breath. And I aimed my sponge at Principal’s baldy head. And I throwed with all my muscles.
“MISSSSED HIM! YOU MISSSSED HIM! HA-HAHA-HA-HAAAA-HAAAA,” sang that Jim I hate.
That’s how come my temperature boiled over.
And I quick spun around.
And I throwed my other sponge right at that meanie boy’s face!
It hit him right in the kisser!
“BULL’S-EYE!” I shouted very happy.
Then I runned out of that place as fast as I could. ’Cause I was in big trouble, that’s why.
“Junie B. Jones!” yelled Mother.
“Junie B. Jones!” yelled Daddy.
I runned and runned till I saw the giant Moon Walk Tent.
Then I quick climbed inside of it. And