Junie B. Jones and the Yucky Blucky Fruitcake - Barbara Park [9]
I jumped in front of it.
“No. You cannot,” I said.
Only Lucille stood on her tippy-toes. And she peeked right around my shoulder.
She made a sick face. “Ick,” she said. “What happened to it?”
“Nothing happened to it, that’s what,” I said back.
I quick put the aluminum foil on it again.
Then I climbed up on the table bench. And I pumped up my muscles. And I lifted my fruitcake way high in the air.
“This could kill you if I dropped it on your head, Lucille,” I said very straining.
Lucille ran to her nanna speedy quick.
After that, I got down from the bench. And I dragged my cake of fruit all the way to my car.
Daddy unlocked the door for me.
“Get in. And I’ll set your fruitcake on your lap,” he told me.
“Yeah, only that thing will squish my legs into flatties,” I said.
And so Daddy put my fruitcake on the seat beside me.
I climbed on top of it and buckled up my seat belt.
“Hey. I can see out the window when I sit on this thing. And it doesn’t even smush down,” I said.
Daddy made a rhyme. “Fruitcake. The seat you can eat,” he said.
“Yeah, only I never even want to taste this yucky blucky thing again,” I told him.
Mother smiled. “But that’s the great thing about fruitcake, Junie B.,” she said. “You never actually have to eat it. Because it never goes bad.”
“Fruitcake has been known to last for years,” said Daddy. “And if you ever get tired of it, you just put a bow on it. And you give it to someone you hate for Christmas.”
Then him and Mother laughed and laughed. Only I didn’t even get that joke.
Pretty soon, Daddy drove the car into our driveway.
I carried my fruitcake into the house.
Except for just then, it started to slip out of my arms. And so I quick plopped it in my kitchen chair.
I climbed on top of it again.
“Hey! Look how big I am! I’m all the way raised up to the table. And this fruitcake doesn’t even hurt my behiney!”
I smiled very happy.
“This is the most usefulest cake I ever heard of!” I said.
After that, Daddy carried my fruitcake into my room for me.
He put it on my shelf.
Then him and Mother tucked me into bed.
I waited for their feet to walk away.
Then I took my flashlight from under my pillow. And I shined it on my fruitcake.
The aluminum foil sparkled in the dark. It was the most beautiful sight I ever saw.
I smiled some more.
’Cause I am a lucky duck to win that special thing.
And also, I appreciate my comb.
Laugh out loud with Junie B. Jones!
#1 Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus
#2 Junie B. Jones and a Little Monkey Business
#3 Junie B. Jones and Her Big Fat Mouth
#4 Junie B. Jones and Some Sneaky Peeky Spying
#5 Junie B. Jones and the Yucky Blucky Fruitcake
#6 Junie B. Jones and That Meanie Jim’s Birthday
#7 Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren
#8 Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed
#9 Junie B. Jones Is Not a Crook
#10 Junie B. Jones Is a Party Animal
#11 Junie B. Jones Is a Beauty Shop Guy
#12 Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy
#13 Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl
#14 Junie B. Jones and the Mushy Gushy Valentime
#15 Junie B. Jones Has a Peep in Her Pocket
#16 Junie B. Jones Is Captain Field Day
#17 Junie B. Jones Is a Graduation Girl
#18 Junie B., First Grader (at last!)
#19 Junie B., First Grader: Boss of Lunch
#20 Junie B., First Grader: Toothless Wonder
#21 Junie B., First Grader: Cheater Pants
#22 Junie B., First Grader: One-Man Band
#23 Junie B., First Grader: Shipwrecked
#24 Junie B., First Grader: BOO…and I MEAN It!
#25 Junie B., First Grader: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells! (P.S. So Does May.)
#26 Junie B., First Grader: Aloha-ha-ha!
#27 Junie B., First Grader: Dumb Bunny
Top-Secret Personal Beeswax: A Journal by Junie B. (and me!)
Junie B.’s Essential Survival Guide to School
Barbara Park says:
“For some reason, our family always had bad luck at school carnivals. The year my son David won the Cake Walk, there was only one cake left and it tasted like cardboard. The next year, someone stole my son Steve’s new shoes while he was leaping around inside the Moon Walk Tent.
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